And a happy new year

Today, the Tonics informed me that my services were no longer required. Then, they disbanded. Of course, I was very upset, but before I had a chance to shoot back an e-mail telling them to fuck themselves, they formed an oldies appreciation society and tribute band Solid Gold & the Rhythmic Souls ("The Tonics," for short) and hired me as their publicist. Anyway, here's another great moment in rock and roll.

The Tonics meet!

Yesterday, the Tonics had another one of those infamous top-level meetings. As usual, Neon Phosphor was not invited. So, in order to bring you the latest buzz in the world of Tonics, I have to make shit up. So this may or may not have happened at Mark's house:

• The Tonics disbanded and rebanded as The Tonics.
• Music was recorded that would not be heard by anybody for the next ten years, due to the lack of promotion.
• Drugs. Specifically those formulated to treat hemorrhoids.
• The Tonics honored the late James Brown by covering "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag."
  
• The Bose Wave radio revealed a barely-audible snippet of dialogue at around 2:14 on "Lucy" that says "I buried Steven." Steven then confesses that he's not the real Steven, which explains a lot, because the real Steven would not have sold his soul and gone to work for one of the largest accounting firms in the world.
• They decided to embark on their much-anticipated world tour, on a Risk board.
• Creative differences over production resulted in a compromised track destined for the 3rd quarter section of the next album that everybody skips over.
• Arta sang.
  

James Brown

Happy birthday!

Mark turns 23 today. We'll celebrate by listening to some Beethoven, who was born on this day in 1770.

The Beach Boys - I Get Around

That's Brian Wilson on falsetto vocals and bass guitar, showing no signs of the stage fright and various illnesses he would have after 1964. Dennis Wilson is the one rocking out in the back. Mike Love is on lead vocals.

Stevie Wonder - Yester-Me, Yester-You, Yesterday

The Beatles - If I Fell

The Zombies - Tell Her No

Yes, it is possible to rock out as a hands-free lead singer without having to suffer a seizure on stage or look like a statue. In this performance, Colin Blunstone demonstrates how the proper use of facial expressions and hand gestures could express more emotions than the Thom Yorke breakdown or any emo artist of today. Consider the way Colin sings "I love you" (0:39) in the second verse. Look at his eyes, the way he leans forward... you can detect the anger and bitterness. The second time he sings "I love you" (1:27), it's different... he does it in a more wistful manner. Notice the barely audible sigh that follows. That's some real character development going on under 2 minutes, in this unusually complex song that falls somewhere between a love song and a break-up song.

The Hollies - Bus Stop

It's all about the vocal and guitar harmonies.

Eddie Cochran - Summertime Blues