Monday, February 28, 2005

"Isn't this journal a little self-indulgent?"

----Admit it, you read it everyday.

"Are you the next rock star suicide?" ----It's comforting to know that we'll be stars by then.

"What'll it take before you realize that you are rock stars?" ----When our "Live at the BBC" album comes out.

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Mark's copy

Copy 03 is ready to go and will be mailed tomorrow.

Saturday, February 26, 2005

"How's Hamlet doing?"

----Dead, I think.

"What happened to the old Neon Phosphor entries?"----Fear not, the archives will be available soon.

"Will you release the last songs you made as Sculpted Static? I heard that 'Pixies' and 'No Logo' are practically done."----Does this look like the Sculpted Static site to you????? ...Yeah, I thought so.

"What's your favorite year in rock and roll?"----2005, the year of The Tonics.

"What if you don't become famous?"----Pardon?

"What if it's all for nothing? What if you don't achieve fame and your songs only reach a handful of listeners?"----That's like asking 'What if a banana weren't yellow?' The Tonics exist to be famous. It simply can't be any other way. It just takes relentless song distribution and unflagging belief that we will inevitably be famous. Other bands get stuck on the part about you having to be lucky.

No, there's really no luck involved in achieving fame. It's like at a concert; if you really want to, you just have to slowly make your way to the front, and then you're there. Note that this philosophy doesn't quite work for the non-musical aspects of the "American dream."

"So you are absolutely convinced that you'll be famous."----That's right. But that doesn't mean it'll come to us automatically. There's work for us to do.

Friday, February 25, 2005

The cruelest thing...

Steven added some keyboard parts to "Hamlet" ("to fill it up") and did some mixing work.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

An exclusive interview with Steven Chow

NP: WHAT ARE YOUR VIEWS ON PIRACY?

SC: i had a pretty good view, actually. i was born on a pirate ship. but i got seasick and so it turned quickly into the view of puke.

NP: WHAT SHOULD BE THE TITLE OF YOUR BIOGRAPHY?

SC: a tragedy in five acts

NP: WHAT DO YOU WANT AS YOUR EPITAPH?

SC: here lies steven, his falsehoods continue unto death

NP: HAVE YOU WRITTEN ANY SONGS LATELY?

SC: yeah, i wrote additional melodies and chords for "ready steady go", a substandard song that's been kicking around since 2001, and it still sucks. i also have a new song called "what's wrong with christine? (kyrie eleison)" but it's not that good, either.

NP: WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU DONE?

SC: today i learned the chords to god only knows, wonderful and surf's up, and learned that i still have a long way to go to match brian wilson. i need to learn how to use slash and diminished chords.

The plan for the EP

Copies 01-03 sent to Arta, Ian and Mark. Steven doesn't want one.
Copy 04 will go to Roger at WQHS.
Copies 05-07 are going to the Berkeley, Davis and Colorado College radio stations.
The next batch of copies is going to other college radio stations.
And finally, orders from the web site will always take priority.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Channel Firing

Neon Phosphor is busy paying tribute to Thomas Hardy and shall be back fully tomorrow. Nothing band-related to report, anyway.

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

First copies sent

Cranking out one CD per day seems reasonable. Copies 01 and 02 are mailed today for Arta and Ian, respectively.

Monday, February 21, 2005

An exclusive interview with Mark Williams

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR

MW: i'm the greatest fucking songwriter to wear a goatee

NP: PLEASED TO MEET YOU, THE GREATEST FUCKING

MW: you should be. a generation's going to turn on my words. i'm where archimedes balances his fucking lever. the world's going to move

NP: YOU'RE GOING TO MOVE THE WORLD BACK TO THE ANCIENT AGE?

MW: no, the ancient age is going to come to me. so is the future. this is it. i'm the point of no return.

NP: ALL YOUR PAST AND FUTURES...

MW: i'm the river, then

NP: I SUPPOSE YOUR ALBUM COVER'S GOING TO HAVE ASTRAL CARS AND A MOON FULL OF STARS

MW: no way. it's the way of the future. it's a flying car with wheels and a propeller above some boring grey shit, above some shit that doesn't matter, that's just there because the car's got to be above something. moving. that's all

NP: RIGHT. BUT IS THIS FLYING CAR ALSO AN ASTRAL CAR?

MW: it's better. it's man made. it's like music. i used to think that great melodies always existed, that you just discovered them. that's bullshit. you build them in your mind, in your laboratory, just like flying cars with engines that blow up diesel inside steel cages. there's nothing cosmic. there's no astral plane. it's the pulsing, oozing, fetid cave of your mind where that shit comes from

NP: ARE YOU THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA?

MW: i am. i am the kai that binds them together. kai means and, but it also means even. i am alpha, even omega. because it's a stretch, because it's hard. but i am anyway

NP: WHAT ABOUT BETA, GAMMA, DELTA, AND ALL THE REST? ARE YOU THEM AS WELL?

MW: of course, i'm a-z, i'm 123 infinity, it's all here in my head.

Sunday, February 20, 2005

A milestone

Copy 01 of the new EP has been constructed and will be sent cross-country to test the durability of the CD mailer.

Saturday, February 19, 2005

The plan...

So, it's back to regular programming on this journal. We are currently putting together a list of everybody we know in anticipation of our first mass e-mail since the No Future Cafe gig back when we were Sculpted Static. Speaking of mass, our EP will not be mass produced because of budget reasons and we don't know what kind of demand for our CDs to anticipate, especially since the mp3s are available on the site. Therefore, we will build the EP individually as people order them. Mostly, Steven is behind this scheme but the idea is that each member will be able to build their own CDs based on some loose guidelines yet to be drawn up.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Yes!

The new site is up. How colorful. Neon Phosphor is settling nicely into his orange zone.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Watch your step

We're hard at work on the new website. It will be done tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Construction area

AAACK!!! THEY HAVE MOVED ME INTO THE NEW WEBSITE AND IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT!!!!! popgothetonics my ass, this site design is anything but pop. where's the color? geez, at least they let me keep this green on my journal. CLEARLY, I'VE GOT A LOT OF DESIGN WORK TO DO HERE to TURN THIS SHITHOLE AROUND.................

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

EP coming soon

It looks a lot like there's going to be an EP and it'll be shipped to college radio stations everywhere.

"What will the EP be called?"----"This unopened case is proof that the withholding of the best-kept secret in rock is entirely the fault of college radio music directors."

"What will the package look like?"----Postal art.

"Don't you need to change this website before getting the word out?" ----Yes.

Monday, February 14, 2005

Happy Valentine's Day

Let's see, what've we got for the occasion... some realistic Valentine's sentiments lifted from the new Tonics album:

"Love makes people stupid, if only that I knew before we met"

"Who should know better than me what I should do? Baby, I thought that was you."

"Lucy tricked me into something"

"Can we still be together like stones and the water? And can we just fall apart like we're dust to each other?"

"Streets that could only be praised in the thick of night spell out that we are apart."

"Unlike you, unlike you, I like you."

"So let me get silly sad and vomit sick again, and say stupid shit like 'I'm a jingle I'm so useless.'"

"It's not everyday you get to be pretty, so you better get out of here in a hurry."

Sunday, February 13, 2005

EP mastering

Mixing and mastering for possible EP/demo CD: 1. Distance, 2. Sad, 3. Lucy, 4. ...Tricked Me Into Something, 5. Thank You. Fixed alignment issues on "Lucy" and volume issues everywhere.

"I thought you weren't going to release an EP."----Just 'cause Emily Dickinson put her poems into handsewn fascicles and carefully organized them in boxes didn't mean she was going to release them. On an unrelated note, she became one of the most important poets ever.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Richard Cory

"OK. So you're an English major and a comp lit major. Compare your album to a significant work of poetry."----Certainly.
"Richard Cory" by Edwin Arlington Robinson

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich - yes, richer than a king -
And admirably schooled in every grace;
In fine we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.

Friday, February 11, 2005

An exclusive interview with Ian "The Madman Behind the Beat" Asbjornsen

NP: WHAT'S IT LIKE TO BE A TONIC?

IA: Like the Butter between Krishna's toes, sweet, blissful, and immortal

NP: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG ON THE ALBUM, SO FAR?

IA: hmmmm... Filler. Like the long walk from Disney World to the 6th Plane it consumes my soul like the brain to the frozen cream-of-spinach.

NP: WHAT'S THIS ALBUM ABOUT, IN YOUR OPINION, AND HOW DOES YOUR DRUMMING HELP TO BRING OUT THE MEANING?

IA: This album asks the eternal question, "Can a cat really be lamenated, and if so, why would the cat continue to sleep between the toes of ignorance and taxidermy?" My drumming is the eternal drone in the last nook in the last corner of the last molding apricot. It is always present and always absent. It is niether up nor down, yet always right and left, and sometimes both East and North.

NP: WHERE DO YOU SEE THE TONICS IN FIVE YEARS?

IA: In one year the Tonics will be in a supermarket. In two years the Tonics will be below the earth. In three years the Tonics will be honey. In four years the Tonics will be playing Halo and Hungry-Hungry Hippos simultaneously. Is it not obvious where the Tonics will be in five years?

NP: AS ROGER TANG ONCE SAID, "WHAT ARE YOU SMOKING AND WHERE CAN I GET SOME?"

IA: As a mysterious Russian remixer once stated, "Very elegant, but I smell a rat. This incoherency makes me wonder. Are u honest or just cynical?" -Translated backwards under magma this reads: "The perfume of electronics fills my lungs. Where can you get some? Why, from the ashes of the Olsen Twins' four eyeballs of course."

NP: THANK YOU, IAN. THAT'S ALL FOR NOW.

IA: Thank you, I must crawl back to my icy tomb. Goodbye Neon Phosphor.

60s influences

Today, Steven recorded double-tracked lead and harmony vocals for "Filler," woodblocks on "The Clapping Song." He also edited the bass line on "Lucy" and pitch-shifted Arta's guitar on the old recording of "Thank You."

"Revival of 60s pop, The Beatles and The Beach Boys? That sounds like Belle and Sebastian."----I admit we are musically channeling the same influences. They even update their site everyday, answering fan questions, like Neon Phosphor. But, crucially, we are not twee or cute and are infinitely more pessimistic than they are. Of contemporary artists, I believe we are most similar to Elliott Smith, if you insist on comparisons.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

"I can't wait to hear the new 'Distance.'"

----Why? You don't even know what it sounds like.

"Well, what does it sound like?"----Your speakers.

"Huh?"----That's all it is, isn't it? We're just feeding your speakers a particular pattern of electrons to make them vibrate this way and that.

"You're weird."----Thanks. That's the best news I've heard all day.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

One day they will write a book about The Tonics

...and this page will be evidence.

New mixes of "Distance" today, possible masters for single/EP release.

"What else will be on the single or EP?"----There will be some writing on the CD-R to facilitate identification.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

"I read on Pitchfork that..."

----I don't trust those sites. I don't trust people who write about music. I don't trust them who against their innermost hearts will place Kid A at the top of their list just because a lot of unnecessary prose can be generated from it. The bottom line is that Kid A is an inaccessible hookless symbol of pretentiousness. When are people going to admit that they get more of a kick out of ABBA and The Beatles and The Beach Boys and perhaps even Madonna? Half the shit on their top 100 list, and especially if you look at some individual writers' own lists, some of them are naming bands that obviously no one's ever heard. That's just obnoxious, man.

"But you are an obscure band, yourself..."----That's right. But our shit is designed to make us famous, not to stagnate at the level of so-called indie rock. We'd prefer to get written up because we're famous and people want to read about us, not because some writer decided to impress his editor by mentioning some new band like he's hip or something. And we'll surely be famous on the merits of our music, a little radio airplay here and there, and filesharing.

Monday, February 07, 2005

"Any news on the single?"

----The first (de)pressings of the new Tonics single will ship very soon! Like the Trojan horse it will find its way into your heart and then destroy it forever, like the world has done to ours.

"What did Lucy trick you into?" ----Something, of course. Didn't you listen to the song?

"There is a line in one of the songs about 'I'm a jingle, I'm so useless'. Do you feel like your life has been reduced into a jingle?" ----No, our lives have actually been expanded into the jingle. Through our songs, we'll find our way into the souls of millions of listeners. We're talking about feeding the collective soul of humanity. And for once, we're not a Nike or Gap commercial.

"How can you have an anti-consumerist message and aspire to sell millions of records? Are you hypocrites?" ----We're after the fame, not the fortune. We'll be happy enough even if we sell only a thousand records and they are pirated ten times over. Oops, there goes our chance of signing with a record label. I better shut up.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

"Do you ever get tired of updating this web site?"

----Sometimes I get tired of life, and I suppose life includes updating this web site.

Saturday, February 05, 2005

The daily headline

Soon there will be a new website on a new domain name.

"News?" ----I'd recommend http://www.guardian.co.uk/ or http://news.bbc.co.uk/.

Friday, February 04, 2005

An exclusive interview with Steven Chow

(Steven mixes "Distance" again, finally fixed the sync issues after the dramatic pause part, and did a pitch shift.)

NP: WHAT'S THE LATEST ON THE MIXING?

SC: i want this album to sound slightly vintage, since we are borrowing so much from the 60s (and even the 50s), anyway. so i am mixing things in mono, as george martin and brian wilson would have. yes, i am aware that the song automatically sounds a lot better when you switch to stereo, but for general mixing purposes i actually find it easier and more exciting to do it all in mono. stereo panning actually misleads you into thinking that certain tracks are at the correct eq, when in fact they would sound like mush from mono (or from far away the stereo speakers). it is also easier to line things up in mono.

NP: SO, WILL THE RELEASE BE IN STEREO OR MONO?

SC: i'm thinking about doing two editions: the mono edition for AM airplay, broken speakers and those who (on philosophical grounds) prefer mono music, and a special edition in stereo.

NP: WHAT ELSE ARE YOU DOING TO MAKE THINGS VINTAGE?

SC: we're going to have a rich, warm 60s sound! think pet sounds, sgt pepper. i love the sound of the beatles's "rain" (except the extreme stereo panning). otherwise the instruments and vocals are mixed spot-on, just the right amount of reverb and thickness. finally, i think this album is far too important to have a sparse, indie-rock, underproduced sound.

NP: OTHER CHALLENGES?

SC: i want soft strings on this album, like on the beatles "we can work it out" (are those fake strings?). i want more baroque organ and piano stuff and vocal harmonies. not really worried about the slow progress. this album will unfold itself on its own pace, and we just have to let it.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

"Anything to report?"

----No, you fool.

Today is the anniversary of the day the music died. A moment of silence, please, for Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper.

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Greatest moments in rock and roll, part 5

Notable sudden and extreme decreases in volume between an instrumental intro and the first verse

Coldplay - "Politik" (0:26)
Manic Street Preachers - "Nobody Loved You" (0:23)
Nirvana - "Smells Like Teen Spirit" (0:25)
Blur - "Song 2" (0:30)
The Beatles - "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" (0:13)
Radiohead - "The Bends" (0:45)
Radiohead - "Just" (0:17)

Also noteworthy: The Hives - "Hate To Say I Told You So" (0:29-0:36)

This is what I call the dust-settling effect on the lead vocals. When you put your listener through noisy shit, and then take almost everything away except the vocals, it tends to magnify the emotion of the vocals, whatever it may be. The seven songs listed above all use the technique to different effect. The Hives do it, too, except they give a cool sound effect to listen to, during the lull with almost no instruments, before the whole band and singer kicks in.

The Tonics will have something like this at the beginning of "Portrait."

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

World music moment

If you want to hear a depressing song with amazing instrumentation, we recommend an Iranian song from the 1970s called "Ayeneh-ha" (which means "mirrors"), sung by Fahrad. We want "Crowds of Nervous People" to sound like it.