Friday, December 23, 2005

The Blue Cafe gig: part 2... an exclusive interview with the Tonics

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR. SO, HOW WAS THE GIG?

MW: it was amazing

SC: pretty good

MW: ok, it was pretty good

AK: pretty good? pretty good my foot

MW: i didn't get ten years added to my life and we didn't discover a cure for cancer

AK: aerosmith is pretty good. we were awesome

MW: so i guess i wasn't, you know, amazed

SC: it wasn't as good as an elliott smith show, i'm afraid

MW: no, that's a lie

AK: yeah man, elliott smith would've been jealous

MW: elliott smith's shows, especially the later ones, were nothing special

AK: and then he would have stabbed himself, twice.

MW: that's pretty low, man

AK: yeah, but on the record, his girlfriend totally killed him

MW: ok, so he would've been so jealous his girlfriend would have had to kill him

AK: exactly

MW: all right

NP: OKAY, SO WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT THE GIG WAS AMAZING. WHAT WAS YOUR PERSONAL HIGHLIGHT OR FAVORITE MOMENT FROM THE SHOW?

MW: when i kicked the cable out of my tuner pedal during "get things done," so that the last minute was filled with buzzing

AK: that was hot

MW: i mean, i'll always remember that, i don't know if it was a high so much as highlighted

AK: but even better was when i had my tuner on, and thus my guitar muted, during the first three chords of save the day

MW: yeah, that was pretty good too.

SC: i didn't hear that, actually, i was too busy looking at my fingers

MW: i guess that makes the whole show a highlight for you, steven. wait, no. the highlight of the show was being told afterward that people were singing along or when that guy came up and tipped us

AK: well if we're not being funny anymore i agree

SC: yeah i couldn't believe it. they sang along to "how many kids did you trick" apparently.

AK: yeah the guy was singing to "you're so very nice" also

MW: i mean, i love to bitch, but that was bad ass

SC: who pocketed the tip, by the way?

AK: well it wasn't me

MW: who knows?

AK: and it wasn't steven, so hmm i wonder who that leaves

MW: i think it's safe to say we'll never be sure were the money went, and that it's best to leave it [at] that

AK: sure sure

MW: where that really shoots a hole in my case. the man who can't spell necessarily is a thief

AK: totally

MW: next question

NP: HOW DO YOU FEEL THAT THE NEXT GIG IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER?

SC: i think it'll be phenomenal

MW: it's the lava lounge

SC: everyone will be there

MW: because it's the lava lounge. it doesn't matter how much we practice -- we've got moxy, and moxy and the lava lounge are like friends with benefits or some shit.

NP: TO THE FOLKS WHO ARE STILL UNDECIDED ABOUT GOING, WHY SHOULD THEY SEE THE TONICS AT THE LAVA LOUNGE?

MW: because they don't want to be assholes this coming wednesday, or maybe "gilmore girls" is on USA network or something. but this is rock and roll

SC: it'll be a milestone in rock and roll history

AK: it'll be a whole ton of fun, and if we like you, we'll buy you a drink afterwards

MW: you know, i've used the verb "to be" almost exclusively in the past couple of clauses. i just want to go on record as being aware of that

AK: you're so copulative, mark

MW: oh, that was good

AK: i know

MW: i won't lie, i love my copulae

SC: what the hell is a copulae?

MW: it's what makes the publicist cry, but without it my poetry dies. it's also pluralized [from copula]

SC: ah, i see

AK: poor steven

MW: he's not missing much

AK: you are an english major too. but you were born in the Orient, let's not forget.

MW: copulae is linguistics faggotry. we call it a linking verb in my occident

NP: NEXT QUESTION. SO THIS ONE'S ABOUT ALEK. DID HE LIVE UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS?

MW: hell yes

SC: excellent drummer

AK: absolutely

MW: the guy knows both music and how to play the drums

AK: what a great drummer and a great guy

MW: yeah, and he's a great guy. that's a ridiculous combination. you can't ask for that

SC: i hope he enjoyed playing with us. he should be a full-time member of the tonics

MW: he should

AK: absolutely

NP: HOW ARE THE REHEARSALS GOING? YOU'VE BEEN USING THE PASADENA REHEARSAL STUDIOS LATELY.

MW: mad props to alan

AK: the rehearsal's have been intense. tiring. but lots of fun

MW: oh, yeah. they're tough

AK: the fact that alan makes PRS such a great and friendly place also helps a lot

MW: mad props to alan

SC: the songs actually get more fun to play as the rehearsal progresses

MW: that's definitely true. we get to treat the songs as songs and not as orchestrations subject to infinite levels of revision

AK: well put

SC: we're still revising the songs, though. for instance, the save the day bridge is 10 times better thanks to this bom-bom-bom rhythm that arta jammed up

MW: yeah and that sort of adjustment is fun

AK: that's what playing live is all about

MW: exactly, there's no slaving away in a tiny room. well...

AK: it's a slightly larger room and there's no computer in it

MW: and we get to jump around a little

AK: yep

MW: that stuff counts for a lot

AK: absolutement

MW: this is rock, not the GREs

AK: that's french, bud. oh wait a minute, i thought you were dissing me. never mind

MW: hahaha. calm down, edward said

AK: what did i say?

MW: you thought i was dissing you

AK: i know. i was making a pun there. say, said. never mind

MW: no no, there's an ayn in that

AK: yeah, but how's whitey to know that? or steven for instance? he's not from that part of the orient? okay, question time

NP: SPEAKING OF JUMPING AROUND, DID YOU ENJOY THE DIZZY RIDERS WHO CAME AFTER YOU GUYS?

AK: the dizzy riders had an extremely fun show

MW: yeah, they did. they needed a bigger crowd

AK: yeah really, with some slam dancing by the stage. still, mark, you did well on that count

MW: i tried to give back some of the craziness they were throwing out

AK: but they were just what i needed after our set

MW: hey, my job is to be the nut in the band

AK: some punk rock craziness

MW: exactly

SC: they gave us these cool picks and free cds

MW: there was that, too

AK: i love that pick. i'm going to bring it to the lava lounge as a backup pick. put it on my guitar in case i drop my other pick and need a quick replacement (they stick to the guitar).

MW: and they were extremely encouraging, which i really appreciate, from an established band

AK: yeah that was great

MW: but the pick was totally sick, too. that rhymes. that should be the new slogan: "the sick pick"

SC: no more, "where's my pick?" says arta. like at the beginning of heart of darkness

MW: yeah, arta had a real phobia concerning lost picks back then

AK: i still do, deep down. but i've beaten it back

MW: whole recording sessions hinged on the recovery of a single medium gauge pick

AK: haha

MW: you fought the disease. he's a fighter. we're all stronger for it

NP: REGARDING THE ALBUM, HOW DO YOU PLAN TO PROMOTE IT?

MW: i think that's a great question. hmm...

AK: yeah, damned if i know. we need some help

MW: we're going to give away for free at the lava lounge, just as we did at the blue cafe

SC: yeah

MW: and we're going to gig again as soon as we can. we're just getting warmed up

AK: yeah

SC: i don't want to go home with a bunch of cds next time

MW: no, they've all got to go

AK: yeah they're all going

MW: the next gig could be pretty important

SC: i think we'll be fine

MW: who'll get a cd? an A&R guy? who knows? bottom line is that we're going to make some fans

SC: we might have to make some more this weekend, with liner notes that actually have notes

MW: hmm, that'll cost some bread, yo. just refer them to the website. that way they get lyrics & a bio, as well as more info than they could possibly comprehend

AK: the website needs more info and pictures of us that aren't from 4 years ago

NP: ARTA, SO YOU DESIGNED THE ALBUM COVER. WHAT WAS YOUR CONCEPT?

MW: go for it arta

AK: my concept was to make it look as much as possible like an EGA shareware video game from 1994

MW: haha

AK: think AOL's Top Picks list

MW: duke nukem 2!

SC: best in the series

AK: you got it

SC: i thought it was based on EGATrek, though. we should cover its theme song

AK: yeah, there was that aesthetic

MW: i think the RP300 was made for covering video game theme songs

NP: BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN? THE BLUE AND RED AND BLIMPS AND THE CUBE?

SC: those blimps are supposed to look like bombs

MW: you forgot the beetle with the fat oil stain

SC: the one with the biceps

MW: yeah. i think, in the context of the latest VW ads, that the photo on the back has some heavy handed commentary

AK: what VW ads?

MW: "on the road of life, there are passengers and there are drivers"

SC: "drivers wanted"

MW: what they forgot to mention were the giant stains left by the vehicles in transit and the muscle men who take pictures of them. i mean 1) all that motorized individuality totally covers your life in oily residue 2) you have to be a goddamn muscled monster to keep track of it all. you have to be able to fight the man

SC: and the man is symbolized by the cube on the cover

MW: yeah, the cube is all about people and stuff

NP: THAT'S ENOUGH READING MATERIAL FOR OUR READERS. LET'S GET A FINAL WORD FROM ALL OF YOU, BEFORE WE CALL IT A NIGHT.

MW: arta, go first

AK: huh... oh sorry, i was reading

MW: jesus, this an interview, dude. your space sims can wait!!!! ... !!!!!

AK: sigh, you have no idea how right you are. and i won't tell you. i've got nothing to say

MW: i tried to soften the blow with punctuation

AK: come on the 28th, you will have a good time

MW: yeah

AK: and listen to the album

SC: wall of sound

MW: to quote an amazing song, "rock is alive"

AK: haha

MW: the last of the copulae, before myself to bed i lay

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