Washington, DC, interview

"Here I am surrounded by Tonics and I don't feel a thing. Fellas, how does it feel to be in the United States?"----I think you've had a drink too many. And Ian is actually in China.

"What have you seen that you like best about our country?"----Our government issued passports allow a quick and painless way to get out.

"Now, do you have any plans or any arrangements to meet the Bush girls [the President's daughters]?"----Where did that question come from?

"They may come.... Are they coming to your show tonight?"----What show? What are you talking about? And why would they want to see us performing music that talks shit about their father?

"You and the snow came to Washington at the same time today. Which do you think will have the greater impact?"----It's the middle of the fucking summer. What the hell are you smoking?

"Have you ever heard of Walter Cronkite?"----Yeah, he spoke out against the war and appeared on the Outfoxed documentary speaking against FOX News. But why did you have to hear that from us?

"What do you think of your reception in America, so far?"----I'm not terribly fond of it.

"What struck you the most, so far?"----What if the scaffolding falls on us during a show? Where's our universal healthcare? Are we covered?

"In spite of the snow, you still got a good crowd?"----I don't think the snow at the Sierra Nevada really affected our show at Berkeley.

"Tell me this. Why do you think you're so popular all of a sudden?"----We're not. Arta refreshes the page, like, 20 times a day.

"Where did you get the idea for the haircuts?"----We're poor and we can't afford it. And we're too lazy to cut it ourselves.

"You save on haircutting, at least?"----Each haircut amounts to ten packs of Ramen, probably.

"Well, where do you go from here?"----The words are coming out all weird, where are you now?

"Are you still number one in Europe?"----It's not one country, man. Funny, that's also how John Lennon answered that one.

"Where are you number one then?"----In the hearts of our countrymen, or something like that.

"You call your records 'funny records'?"----No, we don't. They're totally serious.

"But, what I'm saying is-- Do you think of your records as funny records?"----Why, do you?

"Do you feel they're musical?"----Huh? Why the hell not? They have chords and melodies and rhythm.

"OK. Have a good time in America."----You lie.