Tuesday, March 21, 2006

"I have a question."

----Don't come here with that posh talk you nasty, stuck-up twit.

"I beg your pardon?"----A question, sir. Certainly!

"Oasis recently loaned their song, 'All Around The World,' to an AT&T advertising campaign. Are the Tonics considering a similar deal with a transnational corporation?"----Transnational, you slimy trollop, what kind of a ponce are you?

"I'm sorry?"----Ah, yes. While I cannot disclose the details of any negotiations regarding the possible use of our music for promotional purposes, I can tell you that the Tonics will happily consider any commercial arrangements that are mutually beneficial to all parties involved.

"Very good, sir. I happen to be a representative of Cingular and I would like to discuss the licensing of a couple of your songs as ringtones."----Go make your own ringtones, you great poofy poonagger!

"I beg your pardon?"----Ringtones, yes! I am very flattered by your offer, but I must kindly refuse. You see, the band does not appreciate having their songs turned into 15 second clips. But nothing to do with you, my good fellow.

"Very well. I'll be on my way, then. Thank you for your time."----'Oh, thank you' says the great queen like a la-di-dah poofta.

"I beg your pardon?"----That's all right, sir, call again.

"Excuse me."----What is it now, you great pillock?

"Well, I can't help noticing that you insult me and then you're polite to me alternately."----Of course I did. Our conversation was mostly lifted from this Monty Python sketch.