Saturday, August 13, 2005

An exclusive interview with Ian Asbjornsen

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR.

IA: I am not a melted VCD.

NP: INDEED. WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK TO THE STATES, IF EVER?

IA: I have just arrived to D'eena Town. Due to translation difficulties I had problems communicating with you while in China.

NP: WHAT'S THE MOST INTERESTING THING YOU'VE SEEN IN CHINA, THE LAND (OF COURSE) OF GIANT PANDAS?

IA: I saw things that no red-blooded American could ever fully comprehend. I have learned things about the subconcious that no one should ever have to know. I saw Tibetans mouth-feeding their infants.

NP: FASCINATING. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO MATT SIEMONSMA, THE DRUMMER WHO SUBBED FOR YOU AT THE BERKELEY SHOW A FEW MONTHS AGO?

IA: I would say: "It was so brave of you to attempt to steal my position while I was ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET." But seriously thanks for keeping rock alive while I was out shopping for my soul.

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