----No. We're going to press charges against whoever spread that baseless rumor.
"I heard you lined up a horn player for the re-recording of 'Lucy.'"----No, we're actually lining up our ducks. In a row. And then we will shoot them with the Nintendo Zapper Light Gun.
"Seriously, when are we going to hear the new version of Get Things Done?"----2019. Our goal is to spend more time working on it than Chinese Democracy. Because Guns N' Roses are our sworn arch rivals and we will beat them in every way possible.
It looks like the Tonics are updating themselves pretty regularly on their Facebook page. They've been recording a bunch of covers to brush up on their recording skills, but I hear that a reworking of Get Things Done is underway.
That's right!!!!!!1 The band that had seemingly disappeared from the face of the earth, the band that had gone the way of the Pixies, Oasis, and many others. THE TONICS (and we're not talking about the Harvard Din & Tonics or the Tonics that own thetonics.com domain name, but the real, rock-and-roll Tonics from South Pasadena) are releasing a brand new album!!! No, not a remix/remaster of songs like this one:
...but a bona-fide album with NEWLY RECORDED MATERIAL, the much-anticipated second LP that will blow away Get Things Done like a gasoline-powered leaf blower. Recording has already begun in studios COAST-TO-COAST. Yes, this is an extraordinarily production and thank your lucky stars it's finally happened! It's literally going to have the GREATEST HITS ON EARTH. Any questions?
"This is great! When will it be released?"----Late December back in '63.
"Excuse me?"----Ain't that a shame, you're the one to blame.
"Are we finally going to hear 'The Whistling Song' and 'Cube'?"----His mother told him "Someday you will be a man, and you will be the leader of a big old band."
"Can you talk more about the sessions? Is it hard to get back in the groove after all this time?"----We ain't fakin' it. Whole lot of shakin' goin' on.
"What are the new recordings going to sound like?"----
----That's right. The Tonics are currently producing an album using the PC speaker.
"So, are we finally going to hear the full potential of Steven's MicroKORG?"----No, you already heard that at the end of "Save The Day." What you will be hearing, however, is the latest in monophonic square wave music.
"Will the new songs sound like Kid A-era Radiohead?"----No. It'll sound like QBASIC-era Tonics.
Mark and Arta recorded "blue piano," a cover of a very famous hit from the 1990s. I'll take your questions.
"Wow! I want to hear it."----You'll have to wait until we release the Tonics Anthology near the end of our careers.
"Why isn't Steven on this recording? Is he still in the band?"----I'm afraid the traitor's still counting money and playing with that flower power psych folk band in Berkeley.
"I heard there are plans to finally record the 'Whistling Song.'"----Actually, you didn't hear it. You read it on this blog entry.
"Hey, are you guys on Twitter?"----No, we're on acid.
On Friday, Arta, Mark and Steven reconvened in South Pasadena and worked on harmonies and instrumental arrangements for "The Whistling Song." This was the band's first time in the studio since the ill-fated sessions for "Our House" and "Radio" in 2006.
"No way! Are you going to release this song? I thought the Tonics were done."----No, we're just recording the song for fun and not-for-profit. Just like all the others.
"Is it true that the Tonics are planning to release an authorized, remixed, remastered version of Get Things Done?"----Yes, and we're going to call it Got Things Done.
"Happy New Year, Neon!"----What's with all the joy? Go listen to "Hamlet."
Just over a month ago, British indie folk-rock artist Steve Ison left us this commentary on "Elegy For Anne Bancroft" on IACmusic.com:
Sept 11th 2008.....Its weird,in my alternate universe i see this as a classic psychefolk song everyone knows and loves -It just sounds like its always been around.Maybe i love it so much because THe Graduate might well be my favourite film of all time-Tucked in amongst all those timeless,melancholic Simon and Garfunkel soundtrack songs,this would fit perfectly on every level,qualitively and atmospherically..What a beautifully elegant title too.. 'ELEGY for Anne Bancroft'-i could love it just for that! The lyrics are so naturally poetic,imaginative and suggestive as well,creating all that space to open up your imagination..DElightful track..........................
Thanks, man.
I suppose we should try to get more comments by uploading our songs to garageband.com or sending out the Get Things Done album to radio stations. But then we wouldn't be the best kept secret in rock-and-roll, would we?
"Why aren't you guys famous yet? The album is fantastic."----We do not wish to relinquish our title of 'best-kept secret in rock-and-roll' to The Marvelettes.
"Wow! 'Bartleby' is a great song. Why is it called 'Bartleby?'"----We were looking for an anagram of "Try Babel."
"What's your second album going to be like? Will it be more rock-and-roll?"----No way. Guitar groups are on their way out.
"Where did all those bonus tracks come from??"----The Japan-only version of Get Things Done.
"Lucy, who's that?"----It's Saint Lucy, patron saint of eye conditions. She tricked Steven's eye into the path of a tennis ball.
----Tomorrow, when we extend our record of most consecutive days not playing a single note to 404.
"But I heard that Steven's been playing with a bunch of street musicians."----Not true. The traitor is currently playing with Excel formulas and pivot tables.
"How's the rest of the band doing?"----Since 2006, we've been holding a multiple measure rest at 120 bpm, currently at 17,452,800 measures and counting. At the conclusion of this rest will be a Dm.
"How much longer do we have to wait?"----I'm not going to ruin it, man.
"My source from the paparazzi told me that three Tonics visited the studio where most of the album was recorded. Did you guys record something?"----Yes, we recorded a new high score on Commander Keen IV: Secret of the Oracle.
"No, really. Did you guys at least play through your old songs, just to break the ice?"----Almost. We played through some missions on Jetfighter I, in order to blow up some buildings being used by our Soviet enemies.
"Our long-range microphone picked up some strange electronic music emanating from the studio. Are you guys switching genres, like Radiohead with Kid A?"----No, what you heard was the SimCity Classic theme song being played on the PC speakers.
"How about the fact that a PA was spotted in your car, while you guys were in the studio?"----Who the hell are you? Quit snooping around! We are going to incorporate that PA into the ultimate video gaming system.
The Tonics have released the promotional video for "You're Only Human (Do You Know What You're Doing?)", a song that was recorded back in 2005, but was left off the album because it didn't fit. Enjoy.
----No, it's the long lines that are reforming at the shopping malls this holiday season.
"Great moments in rock and roll: The Marvelettes have gotten almost 6,000 plays on YouTube. Any plans for more videos?"----I'm not surprised. The Marvelettes were a greater band than the Tonics could ever hope to be... 18.7 times greater, if you do the math.
"What the hell is that building at the end of your videos?"----That is not just a building. That is our god, the cube. Mock the cube again and die.
"Is your cube like a Borg cube?"----No! It is actually more like a cubical version of the Death Star.
"Is there a future for the Tonics?"----Didn't we make that clear enough when we played at the No Future Cafe?
"I've noticed a recent burst of activity on the Neon Phosphor blog. Does this mean the band is about to do something?"----And Lucy tricked us into it?
"I spoke with a friend of a friend of the band, and she told me that the band has stockpiled a whole bunch of new songs for an upcoming album project. Is that true?"----You're getting confused with our stockpile of food for the upcoming nuclear winter.
"What's your favorite song on the album?"----Finally, a good question. The answer is "Paranoid Android." You were talking about OK Computer, weren't you?
----Yeah, and the Smiths are going to reunite. And Morrissey and Johnny Marr are going to embrace on stage.
"What about the reports that the Woods, formerly the Lava Lounge, have been contacted by the band's management?"----Clicking on their MySpace does not a booking request make.
"I love your CD! You guys should play at my party!"----I love our CD, too. It's great for a game of CD ring toss. We would be happy to play that at your party.
"Are you ever going to update the web site?"----Does this count?
That's right! According to the Yahoo! Group for The Next Big Thing (KALX-FM, Berkeley), we were featured on the January 23, 2006, episode. Unfortunately, none of us tuned in, so we have no idea what they played or what they said about us.
"way to go, phosphor. i thought you kept up with these things."----Shut up. For all you know, you may have won a Grammy this past February.
In other news, KDVS-FM in Davis played "Lucy Tricked Me Into Something" on the 6/12/07 edition of the Kid Courageous & Tigerlily show. That's less than two months ago. Maybe we should print some more of our albums, because I have a feeling these DJs are playing from our EP.
----Yes, our songs are swimming in sewage at the moment.
"Why does the magazine still say Summer 2006? It's almost Summer 2007."----"Almost" doesn't cut it for me. Either it is or it isn't. The fact is, it's not summer 2007, so why should I listen to you?
"Are you backing Phil Spector to win his murder trial?"----Absolutely not. We are backing Manchester United to win the Premier League title. Spector, on the other hand, is a bad man and probably a poor footballer.
----Yes, the break-up is a post-production procedure to ensure the greatness of our next album. Remember, the Zombies broke up before they released Odessey and Oracles, and a year before their single "Time of the Season" became a hit. And, oh, the Zombies are awesome.
"Are you still selling your CDs?"----That's so subjective. I mean, on the one hand, we are, and on the other hand, we are not. What's with all these yes-or-no questions, anyway?
"That's bullshit. Come on, give me a straight answer."----________________________
