Famous people

Our publicity plans include sending complimentary album copies to famous people like Mel Brooks (husband of the late Anne Bancroft), Phil Spector (whose "wall-of-sound" recording techniques have influenced our album) and Morrissey.

The Tonics are distantly associated with Spector and Morrissey, both of whom live in the Los Angeles area. Arta's sister once spoke "a word or two" to the former Smiths frontman at a party, and one of our high school friends waved to Morrissey at an Arcade Fire concert at the Troubadour, and Morrissey waved back.

At one point, the Spector estate owned a video of Mark playing guitar at school. It was shot by Spector's daughter, who was an acquaintance of Mark's. It is not known whether the tape has survived to this day, or whether the legendary producer himself has seen this footage of the next great rock-and-roll sensation. Meanwhile, Phil Spector's murder trial is set to begin in January 2006.

Lisa, listen to this awesome song

Arta and Steven recorded the instrumental track for "Lisa," a surf/Pixies-style rocker. Steven will work on the lyrics overnight and finish the vocals tomorrow morning.

"Is rock dead?"

----Sure, but rock is hardly alive to begin with. It's made of inorganic minerals, and only seldom does it contain organic material left over from dead plants and animals (usually in sedimentary rock). But the earth's crust is made of only 5% sedimentary rock, with the rest being igneous and metamorphic rock.

"But you haven't released anything since 'Agoraphobia' and 'Anne Bancroft'! Have you guys given up?"----That was only four months ago. Consider that Radiohead haven't released anything since 2003. Are they dead? Actually, the answer is yes, they started dying when they released Amnesiac.

What's going onto the album?

Today, we vetoed "Apart," "Tonight," "Portrait," and "Country." If time permits, these songs will be finished and placed into a B-sides collection.

We will still be left with 19 songs running a little bit under 60 minutes. The following is a speculative track listing: Distance, Sad, Lucy, Lucy Tricked Me Into Something, Thank You, Elegy For Anne Bancroft, Agoraphobia, Waltz, Bartleby, Greenback, The Clapping Song, Crowds of Nervous People, Hamlet, Mean Song, Save The Day, Sunday Night, Therefore Play Music, Amaj7, and Alpha And Omega.

"Sunday Night" will be the new "Distance"

Considering that most of the world will hear "Sunday Night" and "Distance" on the same record, "Sunday Night" won't really go down as the 'new' anything. Anyway, "Sunday Night" will have the same sort of three-part harmony vocals excruciatingly composed by Steven, and that double guitar sound you've come to expect from this band.

Sunday Night

Steven did some exploratory work on harmonies for "Sunday Night."

---this is serious work, folks. harmonies are tough because the vocals don't sound right individually, you end up having to sing these weird and counterintuitive melodies.

Mean Song finished

Ringo Starr played the bass drum on "Mean Song" in 1969. Steven finished mixing the song, so that's another hit we're taking to our graves.

Homegrown and happening

Today's Calendar Weekend section of the Los Angeles Times has a cover story about new indie bands in the LA area. Unfortunately we're not part of the story, since we're hardly a band at the moment.

Los Angeles has no "music scene." It has a bazillion niches populated by musicians of every stripe who cultivate their small followings and clamor for more attention, all in the shadow of a music industry that magnifies the line between commerce and art.

Myriad sensibilities abound. What's cool on the Sunset Strip might be crass in Silver Lake; what rocks Orange County might earn shrugs in Hollywood; what's hip in Long Beach might be harlequin in the Valle

It goes on to profile seven bands representing seven styles that can be found in the LA basin. Additionally, there are mini-profiles about "10 more homegrown artists you ought to know" and "Bands to watch: '06." Little do they know... 2006 will go down as the year of the Tonics.

What genre are we?

Arta: "[Mean Song is] the same sort of 50s/early 60s and 80s mix that we've been doing lately. it's what rock would have sounded like if the 70s hadn't happened... pop as defined by a line traceable from the beatles to the smiths. no disco, no arena rock, no metal. no prog. nothing psychedelic."

Recording

Steven recorded harmony vocals for "Mean Song."

---they're the trippiest harmonies since the bop-bop-bop-balalalalala line in 'lucy tricked me into something.' prepare to be shocked.

Let's talk gear

Arta and Steven installed a new Gibson pickup onto Arta's guitar. Which means it's time for a WHERE WERE THEY THEN: A FOLK HISTORY OF THE TONICS' MEMBERS AS TOLD THROUGH PRIMARY SOURCES -- PART THREE


Today's primary source is a photograph of Arta's Les Paul and the tools required to upgrade its bridge pickup. Many of the pieces shown are from the RadioShack all-purpose soldering kit. Successfully tinkering with one's own instrument is the music nerd's nirvana, but we sure saved lots of money by abstaining from professional help.

---I've fallen and I can't get up, my bathroom is locked from the inside, I live alone and no one's going to find me until I'm a rotting corpse. But I have some great news!
---What's that?
---I just saved a bunch of money on equipment upgrade by soldering the wires myself!!!!

Sampling on the RP300

Alan Lawrence cut The Graceful Accident down to 19 minutes, and retitled it Trains Map the Arteries of the Heart. Arta and Steven recorded an instrumental called "PDT," with electronic drumming by Alan. Here's a list of Tonics songs used in the film: "Bartleby," "You're Only Human," "Mad Men," "Last Sun," "Heart of Darkness: The Rock Opera," "Distance," "Therefore Play Music."

"Are you going to finish the album?"

----No, I'm going to Disneyland.

"Really? Are you thinking of signing with Hollywood Records, a Disney-owned record label with a roster of pop artists including The Polyphonic Spree?"----Hell, no. We're not getting anywhere near those fucking hippies... despite the song "Telegraph Avenue" from our back catalogue.

"I'm shocked by the way you used the f-word. Will you please tone down your language?"----The only way I can tone it down is to turn down the gain, and maybe reduce the treble- and mid-frequencies a little bit. And then run the whole thing through a low-pass filter.

The band lives to see another day

Today, Steven came back from the bay area. To this band, however, his weeklong visit has only been an unnecessary disruption to the progress of the album. When confronted, he mumbled something about "some internship opportunities with big publishers" and "maybe working at an academic press might be fun." Neon Phosphor would like to barricade Steven in his room until he finishes the album.

WHERE WERE THEY THEN: A FOLK HISTORY OF THE TONICS' MEMBERS AS TOLD THROUGH PRIMARY SOURCES -- PART TWO

The Beatles started out playing in Hamburg, Germany. Sculpted Static, on the other hand, started out in their high school's German Club. Hey, kids: see if you can find the four founding members of Sculpted Static on this list.

While the fucking nerds Arta and Steven teetered perilously close to hipsterdom with their abortive film careers, Mark proudly carried the flag of geek culture by setting up an Apache/2.0.53 (Debian GNU/Linux) mod_python/3.1.3 Python/2.3.5 PHP/4.3.10-9 Server, or "hodos," for short. This server would later prove useful for proliferating cassette-quality demos of Mark's hobbling rhythm guitar and nebulous vocal melodies.

Neon Phosphor Breaks (for Children) Again

Steven ran off with the soul of the band yesterday, driving both the remaining Tonics and their publicist into murky silence. Rumors of a new website mix with those of a new album as the public waits awed and anxiously. Honestly, there's still an album somewhere in the works. When it does come over your shitty pair of vintage FM radio sunglasses, we ask that you remember one thing:

"Mean Song"

Arta, Mark and Steven used a 4-track recorder to lay down the instrumentals to a re-conceptualized "Mean Song." Mark overdubbed acoustic guitar and lead vocals. Ian did his usual fine job from within the drum machine.

Nothing was accomplished today

but the Tonics are supposed to meet tomorrow to work on "Save The Day" and ready up other recordings for release. Congratulations to Arta who got a job.

"I heard 'Mean Song' and it sounds like Mark's the only one on it. Did the other Tonics refuse to play on it?"----Yes, and it is obviously a sign that we are about to break up.

Sunday night on a Friday night

Mark recorded two guitar parts and his lead vocals for "Sunday Night." He also recorded the lead vocals for "The Clapping Song."

Neon Phosphor takes a break

Joshua Abraham Norton (ca. 1815 – January 8, 1880), also known as His Imperial Majesty Emperor Norton I, was a celebrated citizen of San Francisco who famously proclaimed himself "Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico" in 1859. Although he had no political power, and his influence extended only so far as he was humored by those around him, he was treated deferentially in San Francisco, and currency issued in his name was honored in the establishments he frequented. Norton also corresponded with Queen Victoria, and he was referred to as His Imperial Majesty by local citizens and in the newspaper obituaries announcing his death.

Therefore finished

Arta recorded several guitar parts for "The Spanish Song," also known as "Therefore Play Music." Ian retroactively recorded some cymbal crashes. The song will be mixed and mastered tonight, probably.

Mark is coming tomorrow

giving us a few days to record.

Bloodsport

Rock-and-roll and auto racing are two of the most glamorous industries in our society. Not surprisingly, there is quite a bit of crossover between the two.

Pink Floyd drummer Nick Mason is an accomplished racer, having competed in the 24 hours of Le Mans. He also has an impressive collection of sports cars, and has even invented a new rear windscreen for the Ferrari F40 to increase visibility. Here is a humorous account of his appearance on BBC TV's Top Gear.

The F1 Rejects site has a profile on Slim Borgudd, a session drummer for ABBA, who later raced for the ATS Formula 1 team.

In 1964, The Beach Boys released a hit single "Fun, Fun, Fun," which contains a reference to the "greatest spectacle in racing":

Well the girls can't stand her
'Cause she walks looks and drives like an ace now
(You walk like an ace now you walk like an ace)
She makes the Indy 500 look like a Roman chariot race now
(You look like an ace now you look like an ace)

Ex-Beatle George Harrison was also a big fan of the sport, frequently appearing in the pits during Formula 1 events. Here is a page with some pictures, including him with his personal sports cars. Harrison released a song about racing, called "Faster."

Back when we were Sculpted Static, we recorded and vetoed a song called "Bernie's Racing Car." More recently, Steven tried to turn the surf rock instrumental into a song about Ford Escort, but it didn't quite work. Nevertheless, Steven and Arta are planning to compete in a navigational rally organized by the Santa Monica Sports Car Club.

The daily non-update

A planned rehearsal/recording session at Alan's house did not happen because of a new shipment of yarn.

The graceful soundtrack

Arta and Steven met with Alan Lawrence to talk about his film projects. The soundtrack of the short film-in-progress The Graceful Accident currently has "Salvo Social" in the opening credits, "You're Only Human" and "Distance" during the car scene, "Telegraph Avenue" during the shower scene, and Mark's chorused guitar bit as the main theme. We're going to record some more music for Alan over the next few weeks.

The Cube

This is the view looking south on Camino Verde in the hills of South Pasadena. You may enlarge the photo by clicking on it:

Steven ripping apart (no pun intended) the band?

SOUTH PASADENA, CA - Tonics keyboardist Steven Chow has decided to go to the Bay Area the same time that guitarist Mark Williams is coming down to LA for a recording session. Rumors are, this is no coincidence. According to sources close to the band, Chow is reportedly sabotaging work on the new album to protest the vetoing of several of his songs, including "The Spanish Song," "One Steven Two Steven," and "Stan the Catamaran Man."

Chow's publicist denied the speculations.

"Steven is making a routine trip to Berkeley to visit friends and potential employers," said Neon Phosphor in a prepared statement. "There is no truth to the rumor that he is frustrated by the album's progress. The Tonics will be recording for at least two days prior to Steven's departure, and will continue to work on the album during, and after, Steven's trip. The band is feeling very positive about the album, and is even talking about releasing a triple album.

"I would like to take this opportunity to confirm that none of Steven's songs have been vetoed. In fact, 'The Spanish Song' has already been recorded and will soon be mastered for release as early as October."

The rest of the band did not return phone calls today.

Amidst speculation that Ian is being replaced by a drum machine, the Ian Fan Club (IFC) of Colorado Springs has circulated a petition demanding the truth behind their favorite drummer's status in the band.

Neon takes a break

There's nothing to report, anyway. Let us all save some bandwidth.

"Hi, I really like the song, but who is Lucy? She must be one lucky gal."

----Lucy Parsons (1853-1942) was a radical labor organizer, anarchist and is remembered as a powerful orator. She was born in Texas (likely as a slave) to parents of Native American, Black American and Mexican ancestry.

In 1905, she participated in the founding of the Industrial Workers of the World. In 1939 she renounced anarchism as a counter-revolutionary ideology and joined the American Communist Party. She died in 1942. The state still viewed Lucy Parsons as such threat to the status quo that after her death, police seized her library of over 1500 books and all of her personal papers.

For more information, visit the Lucy Parsons Center.

Guitar parts on "Country"

Steven recorded guide harmony vocals. Arta recorded two acoustic rhythm guitar parts and a lead electric guitar part for the chorus.

"I heard that the new album is influenced by Noam Chomsky."

----It's true. We slipped a copy of Chomsky's The Common Good underneath Arta's RP300 unit to reduce pressure on a cantankerous footswitch.

Erika wants to know...

if we want to play at the Emergenza Festival:

My name is Erika Moore and I'm in charge of booking for the Emergenza Festival in 112 venues across the U.S. in such clubs as the Avalon in Boston, the Metro and Double Door in Chicago.

I was wondering if you would be interested in having your band perform. You will find all of the information and the necessary form at http://www.emergenza.net/document/book/iscri.asp

You can contact me at erika@emergenza.net or phone me personally, or any member of my staff at the toll free number: 1-888-923-2263

This is the largest contest ever for unsigned bands in North America. 45 US cities, 8 Canadian and 90 European ones, will be involved in the project. 5000 american bands will be booked to play live across the U.S. combining 1600 nights between November 05 and July 06 to showcase them.

Support slots at the tweeter center (30,000 capacity venue) in Boston, free recording at the world's top studios, songs on nationwide/European compilations and submission of your material to our label and management partners, are a few of many projects that are also available.

The entire festival is produced in cooperation with the top music partners and radio stations across the country.

All shows are co-produced with Ernie Ball, Crate, Ampeg, Sabian, Mapex, Remo, D'andrea, Sennheiser and Regal Tip. These companies will award the best musicians with 1000,000 US$ in prizes.

The best bands will tour Europe all expenses paid and will also be booked to play in the Vans Warped tour. Thanks for your time!

The Tonics will not achieve fame and fortune by playing games such as this one. You can call it sour grapes, but we call it forging our own path to stardom. It is important that we don't get caught up in the machine; part of our art is building a new machine to destroy the old one. We do not aspire to be the cream of the crop (as the thousands of bands at Emergenza will hope to be). Instead, we are a new type of crop. When you're not part of the system, you have no competition. No agents, no record labels, no Simon Cowell to tell you that you haven't made it. As completely independent artists, we will just keep improving our music until it earns a place in the musicial canon. And that's how The Tonics will go pop. I don't think we're that far away, either.

"How's the magazine coming along?"

----Great. It'll have a web launch to coincide with the release of our electronic music.

"I heard that there's a lot of copyright violations on the upcoming web site."----You can get away with anything as long as you are not yet famous. Right now, our lack of fame enables us to pursue art to its fullest extent. For instance, one of our songs will have a 30-minute sample from Sgt. Pepper. It's a deep statement about... something.

Dave Zirin: Monument to a Rotten System--

Leading this carnival of disgrace is Mr. Shock and Awe himself, George W. Bush. Everyday, President Bush doles out comments that signal his removal from any basic notion of humanity. Perhaps the most galling, "The good news is -- and it's hard for some to see it now -- that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch."

New Orleans

Molly Ivins: A Flood of Bad Policies --

To use a fine Southern word, it's tacky to start playing the blame game before the dead are even counted. It is not too soon, however, to make a point that needs to be hammered home again and again, and that is that government policies have real consequences in people's lives.

Maureen Dowd: United States of Shame --

Why does this self-styled "can do" president always lapse into such lame "who could have known?" excuses.

More work on "Country"

Steven recorded a piano part and guide vocals for "Country."

Country song recording

The country song lyrics were finalized this morning, and they are about the late Princess Diana. Arta recorded an electric guitar part for the country song. The recording session ended early because of issues with the acoustic guitar.

But we are really in no mood to record anything, with all the deaths and suffering happening in New Orleans and Iraq. We feel helpless in California, and can only remind everyone to donate to the rescue/relief efforts if they can, but hopefully our government will do more to help because they are the ones with the resources. Every minute that help is delayed is a minute that thousands of desperate people are living in the hazardous muck infested with snakes and insects.

There is also the news that Fats Domino, a pioneering rock and roll musician, is missing in New Orleans.

Update: There are now reports that Fats Domino has been rescued, based on a photo taken Monday night. But his current whereabouts remain unknown, and there is still no information about his wife, who was with him when the hurricane hit.

Edna St. Vincent Millay

The new country song mentions Edna St. Vincent Millay, a lyrical poet and playwright and the first woman to receive the Pulitzer Prize for Poetry. She was also known for her unconventional and Bohemian lifestyle and her many love affairs with both men and women.

Her best known poem might be "First Fig" (1920):

My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends--
It gives a lovely light!

Death Cab For Cutie - Soul Meets Body

Arta: "Get this song, the vocals totally blew me away."

He's talking about the double-tracked vocals, especially the part where the double-tracking turns into single-track near the end of the song. Also how the two voices weave in and out of the song (the higher melody breaks away from the lower lead melody during the break and for the bridge). Great stuff.

Notes from today

• Arta and Steven started writing the country song.
• Alan Lawrence found a violinist for us.
• Mark is getting a 4-track.

Rare press, sweet press!

The No Frontin', Just Music blog has some good things to say about The Tonics:

The Tonics - "Distance." You'd be hard pressed to guess what decade this song comes from if not for the sometimes Morrissey-like vocals. The Tonics play a pleasant brand of pop unencumbered by any indie posturing or MySpace marketing appeal. A young group expressing the emotions of their generation in a forthright and sometimes unhinging way, this group has a bright future if the pressures of post-college life don't take them down first. Their song "Sad" is another favorite of mine. You can purchase their EP here, but if you don't feel like dropping the dough they've got it available for download free of charge. The Tonics' publicist even has a blog about the band.

That's right, there's even press for me, Neon Phosphor. We thank the author of No Frontin' for the publicity.

In other news today, Steven remixed "Apart" from scratch, and replaced the bassoon organ with a celesta.

"Are you employing the wall-of-sound technique to your recordings?"----No, I wouldn't exactly call it employment. It's more like an unpaid internship.

An exclusive interview with Jimi Martinez

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR.

JM: i am aware of that. you were a pretty good song, but i always thought Madman was the best

NP: HOW DID YOU GET YOUR GIG DRAWING FOR THE TONICS (THEN CALLED SCULPTED STATIC)?

JM: well first Sculpted Static is an infititly better name, but since i knew i the members of the group on a personal level, and i was total captured by there music, i knew that i ultimatly had to give my talents to them. kinda like how Roger Dean provides the true visiuals to the band "Yes" albums and how gerald Scarffe made the uniqe look for Pink Floyds the wall. i wanted that kinda noteriety and connection with Sculpted Static

NP: WHAT HAS JIMI THE ARTIST BEEN DOING SINCE THEN?

JM: Well i wish i could say ive been drawing like mad, but for the most part, ive been observing. Observing the world around me, looking for inpiration and adventure to talk about in hopefully future autobiography. Ive also been working day care. Some would say what the hell is a lunatic like me (laughs) is doing working with children, well the answer is simple.. Children are alot more easy to deal with than adults.

NP: ANY PLANS TO BRING BACK THETRYINGMADCAP XANGA?

JM: ah, good ol Xanga. I think i painted myself in corner with that. At first i wanted leave it in fear of running out of things to write about, but then i just end up missing it, but when i return i cant think of one good thing to say.

im currently working on some stuff for the site soo keep an eye out for future post.

NP: no problem Mr. Phosphor, anytime

We're still in stereo

But our music is now mixed louder.

Arta: "the fucking album. it needs more horns and zither and digeridoo."

"All right, so we don't know who Lucy is. But what did she trick you into?"

----Lucy van Pelt is a character in the immensely popular comic strip Peanuts, written and drawn by Charles Schulz. She is the older sister of Linus and Rerun. Lucy has a dominant personality, is crabby and cynical, and is often mean to the other characters in the strip, particularly her brother and Charlie Brown.

Perhaps Lucy's most famous gimmick in her long existence as a character is as the one who pulls the football away from Charlie Brown right as he is about to kick it. The first occasion on which she did this was November 16, 1952, taking over for Violet, who had previously subjected Charlie Brown to this trick on November 14, 1951. This annual scenario has become one of the most famous and popular in the Peanuts universe, as well as highly parodied, as shown in an episode of Family Guy, when she gets punched for pulling her football gimmick.

"Are you Charlie Brown, then?"----Good grief! No, I am Neon Phosphor.

More work on "Surf Rock"

Lots of research & development (i.e. lyric & extra chord writing) going into the "Surf Rock" song, which is not a good sign because most good songs don't need this much work. Let's put this in the "unlikely to be released for a while" pile.

In other news, Steven is going to increase the volume levels of all the songs currently available.

Shame on the following spammers

I got these in the comments section on the previous post:

Your blog is great If you like to learn more, I'm sure you'd be interested in greatest supplement vitamin world know about greatest supplement vitamin world

and

Comic Junkie for Sidebar
That was quick; I'm hoping for plenty of rapid development of new Sidebar panels.
Nice blog site, really cool!

I have a Control Ceiling Fan With site/blog. It pretty much covers Control Ceiling Fan With related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time.

Dudes, like I said, I will only respond kindly to people who spam me, if 1) they obviously did not just target our blog/e-mail randomly, 2) they make some effort to personalize their spam, and 3) going along with point 1, they are advertising some relevant product, service or art project. Come on, Neon Phosphor doesn't need vitamin supplements and control ceiling fans.

A break

Nothing happened today. The surf rock instrumental might turn into a song with lyrics.

"Why is your new instrumental called 'Bartleby'?"

----Because we want you to read "Bartleby," a great short story by Herman Melville. Our song titles will now be used to advertise our personal and political beliefs. This is why our next few songs are going to be called "We're Not As Good As The Velvet Underground," "The American Civil Liberties Union Boogie," "Marx For The Millions," and "http://www.popgothetonics.com/". "Distance" will now be called "While You're Rich And Young, Go Read The Amazing First Part Of Anna Karenina."

"What? You can't be serious. Anyway, what's this I hear about a waltz? Does it even have a name?"----What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

"Did you just rip off Shakespeare?"----Just as well. Our waltz is all about ripping things off. For instance, its time signature is totally ripped off "The Blue Danube."

"Can we expect the album to be released anytime soon?"----No, but if you're looking for something to expect, you can expect the sun to rise tomorrow morning.

It's time to dig another one

Arta and Steven finished the waltz instrumental and got started on a surf rock instrumental.

Radiohead blogwatch

Radiohead have been updating their blog everyday. The latest update says that they've just finished a week-long recording session. Thom's complaining about how tired he is: "six days straight from 11 till late is enough for an old man like me." Sounds like what Steven's been pulling lately. We'll have some new music very soon.

Covering Radiohead is an old Tonics tradition. We've played "Karma Police" three times in concert, "Creep" and "Fake Plastic Trees" once, and even "Morning Bell" at our last show at Stebbins Hall. Steven taught the Radiohead course at UC Berkeley for three semesters.

The Waltz

Steven and Arta started recording a new instrumental called "Waltz." Steven took a short break to do a job interview, but he's otherwise taking full advantage of unemployment to work on The Tonics nonstop. "Waltz" is sounding a lot like the 1812 Overture. "Bartleby" is going onto the album. Are they turning into an instrumental/electronica band? Hope not.

Notes from today

• A recording session was cancelled because of Arta's vegetable issues.
• Steven recorded an instrumental called "Bartleby."
• Mark: "The first part of Anna Karenina is amazing. Read it."
• Ex-Sculpted Static member Robert Aghassi will not appear in Alan's next movie.
  
• Robert Moog, pioneer of electronic music, died yesterday.
  

Attention string musicians

Arta: "If we're going to have a string section, we're going to have it on every song."

Do you want to be a rock star? The Tonics are looking to fill String Musician positions to help fill up the sonic spectrum on their upcoming album. We want people who:

• can play the violin, viola, cello, or a related instrument
  
• can read sheet music
  
• live in California

This position is unpaid and is worse than an internship: we will cover none of your expenses, and this is not a resume building position, unless you want to be a professional musician. However, you get to work on an exciting project to produce the album of our generation.

E-mail a cover letter and resume to aristatic@yahoo.com.

Obscure pop gems from the 60s

A random selection of songs to acquire:

The Pretty Things - "Talkin' About The Good Times"
The "Pretties" recorded S. F. Sorrow, the first rock opera of all time, in spring 1967 at Abbey Road Studios, just down the hall from The Beatles and Pink Floyd, who were working, respectively, on Sgt. Pepper and The Piper at the Gates of Dawn. "Talkin' About The Good Times" was not actually on the album, but it is a bonus track on the S. F. Sorrow reissue. The Pretty Things did not consistently put together good melodies, and their musicianship is a bit suspect. Nevertheless, the ambitious psychedelic rockers regularly tried harmonies and unusual instrumentation. Also check out "Balloon Burning" from the same CD.

The Beach Boys - "Friends"
After the SMiLE failure, The Beach Boys released two underproduced albums before making a serious comeback with Friends. By then, however, the band was totally off the radar and musically irrelevant, having been pushed aside by acts like Jimi Hendrix and The Beatles. Production-wise, Friends is almost in the same league as Pet Sounds. The title track is a flashback to the pre-Pet Sounds Beach Boys: lots of harmonies, catchy melody, simple lyrics. The song has apparently been used by a music school to demonstrate songwriting in waltz time.

The Kinks - "Do You Remember Walter?"
This is off The Village Green Preservation Society, which is making a comeback among the hipper crowd. "Do You Remember Walter" has a great melody, a driving rhythm, and an uncomplicated arrangement. The best part is the weird vocal fade-in to the second verse, after the first chorus... a candidate for one of the greatest moments in rock and roll.

Pink Floyd - "See Emily Play"
If you are reading this, you probably need no introduction to Syd Barrett, the original frontman for the legendary rock band. This pop song from 1967 contains some of the best delayed piano you'll hear anywhere. Also check out "Candy And A Currant Bun," a rare b-side on the "Arnold Layne" single. That one has great lyrics like: "Ooh, don't talk to me. Please, just fuck with me. Please, you know I'm feeling frail."

The Zombies - "A Rose For Emily"
Off Odessey & Oracle, "A Rose For Emily" is a piano-based song years ahead of its time, with a very weird chord progression. The Zombies were probably the most talented all-around British pop group after The Beatles. They are known mostly for "Time Of The Season," the one that goes "What's your name? Who's your daddy? Is he as rich as me?" They should really be known for Odessey, easily one of the greatest albums of all time, right up there with Revolver, Sgt. Pepper, and Pet Sounds. [This post formerly stated that The Zombies were American, when they were actually British. We regret the error.]

The Velvet Underground - "Candy Says"
"Candy Says" is from The Velvet's self-titled album, has a very depressing chord progression to match lyrics like: "Candy says I've come to hate my body and all that it requires in this world." Wouldn't it be a great song for The Tonics to cover, with Mark on lead vocals?

The Association - "Like Always"
They're well-known for the all-time classics "Never My Love," "Along Comes Mary," "Cherish," and "Windy." But "Like Always" contains an amazing, mind-boggling chorus with harmonies going every which way. Get it off their greatest hits album.

The Who - "A Quick One, While He's Away"
A Tonics favorite, this classic song about fornication is available in way too many versions. The best one is the 9 min 11 sec studio recording off the A Quick One album (it's the one with a second, faster verse for Ivor the engine driver). The last movement is used in the film Rushmore, another Tonics favorite.

"You must get this a lot, but who's Lucy?"

----Lucy was a classmate of Julian Lennon and the subject of Julian's painting, "Lucy in the sky with diamonds," which inspired his father John to write the song of the same name.

Four year old Lucy Richardson was about a year older than Julian when he enrolled at the private Heath House School in Weybridge, Surrey. John Lennon and the other Beatles visited her family's antique and jewellery shop now and then, so the family knew Julian. When the little boy became homesick or unsettled at school, Lucy would be called out of class to sit with him while he drew pictures.

In 2005, her sister Mary Foster said, "One day John Lennon came into the shop and said, 'Hello, Lucy in the sky with diamonds.' We thought it was just John being John." When the song appeared on Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, the Richardsons noticed the name but weren't sure of any connection until 1975, when Lennon told an interviewer the story of his son's picture.

Richardson went on to work in the film industry and is credited as art director on films such as Elizabeth, Chocolat and The Life and Death of Peter Sellers. She never married. In 2003, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. After gruelling therapy the cancer reportedly spread to her bones, and she died on 1 June 2005.

When she was buried in Weybridge her family sprinkled crystals on the grave, symbolizing the song's title.

Consumption

Steven lost his RadioShack dynamic mic in New York. It's about time to get a better one, anyway. How about the Behringer XM8500 Microphone?

Let your voice shine with a dedicated vocal mic for a song of a price.

The cardioid pattern focuses on your voice while the integrated shockmount system reduces handling noise to almost nothing. Balanced low-impedance output connects to any console or microphone preamp. 50Hz to 15kHz frequency response for crystal-clear, highly detailed vocals. 2-stage pop filter minimizes breath and pop noises. Comes with rugged hard case with mic clip and stand adapter.

Alan's waltz

Arta and Steven wrote an instrumental piece for Alan's new film. The chords are Em Am Em Am C G6 Cmaj7 G6 D. The riff is ripped off The Clash's "Rebel Waltz." Recording was postponed due to backpack issues and a missing high E string.

Neon to Radiohead: "Can you update everyday like Neon Phosphor?"

Radiohead, one of the great bands of our time but representing the generation before us, have started a blog called Dead Air Space. Being the good citizen of the blogosphere that I am, I have added it to my blogroll. And I expect reciprocation. So far, Thom Yorke has managed to update the blog everyday since it was created two days ago. Let's see how long he can keep it up. His latest post is about going into the studio tomorrow, which is not unlike the stuff Neon Phosphor typically posts.

Speaking of which, we should probably do some recording ourselves. Mark will try to set up a recording situation for himself at Davis, so that he can record the distorted guitar parts to "The Spanish Song" and "The Clapping Song" because he misses playing distorted guitar. And maybe some lead vocals, while he's at it.

An exclusive interview with Steven Chow

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR

SC: how may i help you today?

NP: WE KNOW YOU'RE PARTICULARLY CONCERNED ABOUT GETTING THE BEST AUDIO QUALITY OUT OF A WIDE RANGE OF SPEAKERS. LET'S TALK, FOR INSTANCE, ABOUT MIXING IN MONO.

SC: our music is immune to the kissing disease. listen to our album once, and you'll want to hang yourself. it's definitely not makeout music.

NP: LISTEN, SMARTASS, NOBODY GIVES NEON PHOSPHOR A HARD TIME. WHY ARE YOU CONSIDERING MIXING THE ALBUM IN MONO INSTEAD OF STEREO?

SC: ask yourself this, when have you ever had a perfectly functional set of speakers? we know that many of our listeners are driving around in old cars with speakers that don't necessarily work on both sides. one of the speakers in my car doesn't work. the left speaker on arta's car has issues with the bass end. even on my stereo at home, it's hard to get the speaker volumes balanced, because of wiring issues on the back. the most annoying thing is listening to stereo recordings where all the harmonies or cool instruments are on the stereo channel that you can't hear. finally, even when you have good speakers, they're probably not in a sonically perfect place in relation to you. when you mix in mono, you know exactly how the mix is going to sound, anywhere, on any sound system. phil spector and brian wilson always mixed in mono.

NP: ANY CHANCE YOU'LL BE COVERING MONO'S "LIFE IN MONO," THE ONE-HIT WONDER FROM THE 90'S?

SC: you never want to cover a hit song because it'll always turn out worse than the original

"Just curious. Who is Lucy?"

----Saint Lucy of Syracuse is the patron saint of the blind and those with eye-trouble, such as Thom Yorke, Stevie Wonder and our very own Steven.

Lucy means "light", with the same Latin root, lux, as "lucid," which means "clear, radiant, understandable." "In 'Lucy' is said, the way of light" Jacobus de Voragine stated at the beginning of his vita of the Blessed Virgin Lucy, in Legenda Aurea, the most widely-read version of the Lucy legend in the Middle Ages. St Lucy's history is shrouded in darkness: all that is really known for certain is that she was a martyr in Syracuse in Diocletian's persecutions of 303 A.D.. Her veneration spread to Rome, so that by the sixth century the whole Church recognized her courage in defense of the faith.

A day of inactivity

Although The Tonics didn't do anything today, last night we got a preview of the type of destruction that the new album will cause unto the world. Thunder and lightning erupted directly over South Pasadena. We know that because the thunder and lightning were almost simultaneous.

In other news, "The Clapping Song" vocals will be re-recorded instead of hacked together, according to Arta.

"Clapping Song" problem

Steven: "the clapping song vocal track will be a combination of several vocal takes from today and eight months ago. because we used different mics, it's really hard to get the EQ consistent. i think this is what the chorus will sound like:

mark solo from winter take: i just can't seem to get things done, maybe i'm just spun
mark from winter + 3 stevens: but who the hell knows with me?
mark from today + 2 stevens trying to cover up strangely EQ'd mark: i just seem to get things wrong, i come off too strong
4 stevens: it's all my mind, all the time

so it'll be like a call-response/motown beatles thing."

Recording session

Today, Mark recorded "Mean Song" and new lead vocals for "The Clapping Song." The Tonics pioneered a new recording technique involving Mark going under a piano cover with the condenser mic to minimize reverb.

An exclusive interview with Ian Asbjornsen

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR.

IA: I am not a melted VCD.

NP: INDEED. WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK TO THE STATES, IF EVER?

IA: I have just arrived to D'eena Town. Due to translation difficulties I had problems communicating with you while in China.

NP: WHAT'S THE MOST INTERESTING THING YOU'VE SEEN IN CHINA, THE LAND (OF COURSE) OF GIANT PANDAS?

IA: I saw things that no red-blooded American could ever fully comprehend. I have learned things about the subconcious that no one should ever have to know. I saw Tibetans mouth-feeding their infants.

NP: FASCINATING. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO MATT SIEMONSMA, THE DRUMMER WHO SUBBED FOR YOU AT THE BERKELEY SHOW A FEW MONTHS AGO?

IA: I would say: "It was so brave of you to attempt to steal my position while I was ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET." But seriously thanks for keeping rock alive while I was out shopping for my soul.

Album update

Last night, Steven burned a CD with about 20 tracks and more than 60 minutes worth of everything The Tonics have recorded. In other news:

• "Crowds of Nervous People" might get an "Eleanor Rigby"-treatment, i.e. a string quartet.
• "The Spanish Song" and "Tonight" are back on the album.
• "Hamlet" will be re-recorded.
• "The Clapping Song" will not be re-recorded, but Ian's drum track will be heavily modified to sound heavier. Also, Steven will add some more harmonies.
  
• "Blank Page" is almost finished.
• "Apart" needs more vocal harmonies, and we still haven't decided what to put on the coda.
• Steven's piano needs to be tuned.

Speaking of vocal range

Here is a list of the highest notes reached by Mark and Steven (lead vocals only):

Mark
Portrait, A4
Alpha/Alpha, A4 (falsetto)
Distance, G#4
Apart, F#4
Nothing, F#4
The Clapping Song, F4
Save The Day, E4
Hamlet, E4
Terrible, E4
Sunday Night, E4
Sad, D#4
Blank Page, D4
Thank You, D4
Not Enough, D4

Steven
Cube, B4 (falsetto)
Lucy Tricked Me Into Something, A4
Marbles, A4
Crowds of Nervous People, A4 (falsetto)
Elegy For Anne Bancroft, A4 (falsetto)
Therefore Play Music, G#4
Last Sun, G#4
Refrain (original version), G4
Paratrooper, G4
Radio, G4
Lucy, F#4
UFO, F#4
Mad Men, F#4
Maritime Blues, F#4
No Logo, F#4

The Spanish Song

Steven recorded the synths, acoustic guitar and vocals for "The Spanish Song." To appease Arta, it now has an E to Am switch instead of E to F. Ian retroactively recorded the drums. Steven says: "I don't like my vocals in the first verse. I fear my voice has changed. On the bright side, I can now hit A#4 with my head voice, which finally lets me sing 'Long Tall Sally', 'I'm Down' and 'Got To Get You Into My Life.' Theoretically, I can also sing 'Smells Like Teen Spirit', but I haven't tried. My lowest note, by the way, is F#2, although the lowest note I have recorded is a G2, which I hit on 'Haste'. So, my range is two octaves and a couple extra notes."

Meanwhile, on the radio...

We are a member of the Independent Artists Company because of their excellent customer outreach department. An IAC station called Bubbling Under the Big 50 is playing "Elegy For Anne Bancroft."

We are being played on KDVS (Davis, CA) by two DJs. She likes "Thank You." They like "Lucy."

Poetry in advertising

Today, I got this kind e-mail from the folks at iSOUND.com:

Sign up with one of the largest music communities, iSOUND.COM
Sign up an artist account.
Sell your music and keep 100% of the net profits!
Instantly create your own professional band/artist web site.
Promote your music to 1,000,000 music fans each month!
Upload your MP3's.
and much, much more...

I don't know why some web sites don't spend more time writing their e-mail offers, although this e-mail scores high in the cut-to-the-point department. But can you actually see anyone behind this generic advertising language, except maybe a loudmouth ex-car salesman? Who, but the most desperate of unsigned bands, want to deal with you? There's no name on there, and Neon Phosphor doesn't respond to e-mails without a name and some mention of the Tonics.

Sculpted Static flashback of the day

Named during an AIM conversation, "Salvo Social" was never one of the band's favorite songs, but it enjoyed quite a busy existence from the beginning. It first appeared in the spring of 2003, when Arta recorded ProgZ and wrote lyrics for the first two verses (without knowing the melody). Steven came up with the melody and added an extra verse.

Arta and Steven came home from school and started recording "Salvo Social" for a new album. Mark did not play on the recording because he was at school. Ian was replaced by a drum machine, which seemed to suit the song just fine. Nevertheless, "Salvo Social" was the most sophisticated recording by Sculpted Static at the time. It featured a strong guitar hook, audio samples, and modulation to a different key.

Listen to "Salvo Social" somewhere on this page
Lyrics to "Salvo Social"

During the third verse, Steven accuses ABC News of "putting your head inside the noose of ignorance," but, of course, he is not talking about the great Peter Jennings, the longtime ABC newsanchor (and Canadian) who died a few days ago. The man who took his work seriously but never took himself too seriously, the man who hated Fox News, never interviewed George W. Bush, and was frequently accused of having a liberal bias.

Anyway, "Salvo Social" was considered strong enough to lead off the Distance EP and the No Future concert. Unfortunately, the live performance was a little too sloppy, due to the band's not having practiced with Mark until that day, and Ian having only heard the song a few days before.

The lack of response to "Salvo Social" from EP listeners meant that the rockin' song was pushed to the second half of the new album, now called Sunny Ash.

It has been rumored that Alan Lawrence will be using "Salvo Social" in one of his short films.

I love to say da da

According to its proponents, Dada was not art — it was anti-art. For everything that art stood for, Dada was to represent the opposite. Where art was concerned with aesthetics, Dada ignored aesthetics. If art was to have at least an implicit or latent message, Dada strove to have no meaning — interpretation of Dada is dependent entirely on the viewer. If art is to appeal to sensibilities, Dada is to offend. It is perhaps then ironic that Dada became an influential movement in modern art. Dada became a commentary on art and the world, thus became art itself.

Those who participated in Dada were attracted to a nihilistic point of view (nothing achieved by mankind was worthwhile, not even art), and created art in which chance and randomness formed the basis of creation.

Dada was a way to express the confusion felt by many people as their world turned upside down by World War I. There was not an attempt to find meaning in disorder, but rather to accept disorder as the nature of the world, using it as a means to express their distaste for the aesthetics of the previous order and carnage they believed it reaped. Through this rejection of traditional culture and aesthetics they hoped to destroy traditional culture and aesthetics.

"Do you sell ringtones?"

----No, we're not in the jewelry business. If you want to change the tone of your ring, you should look into getting it polished, stained or engraved.

An exclusive interview with Steven Chow

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR.

SC: yeah?

NP: WELCOME BACK TO SOUTH PASADENA. WHAT DID YOU LEARN IN NEW YORK?

SC: how to ride the subway

NP: INTERESTING. ARE YOU INSPIRED TO WRITE SONGS?

SC: and how to take the greyhound to amherst

NP: WILL THIS ALBUM BE FINISHED SOON?

SC: where i acted out morrissey's suedehead video by tracking down my favorite historical figure in a small town and visiting her house and gravesite. for me it was emily dickinson. morrissey visited james dean. it felt strange to be in the same room where nearly 1800 of the most remarkable poems in the english language were written. then it was quite an emotional experience at the cemetary to see the patch of grass directly above emily's remains

NP: I'VE BEEN ASKED A LOT, WHO IS LUCY? PERHAPS YOU CAN ANSWER THAT FOR ME.

SC: i'm so exhausted from my trip home that i'm going to sleep. later, neon.

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie

The Tonics enjoy receiving their news from a plethora of international news sources, such as The Guardian and the BBC. The latter, while providing some of the best mainstream news coverage of world events and some decent features, also provides moments of hilarity which make a Tonic smile as only some vodka and lime could:

Italian river full of cocaine

Worst moments in rock and roll

Today's feature: bad music-related puns in political commentary.

If you haven't been under a rock for the past 6 months, you know that Iran's been in the news lately. Uranium. Bombs. yawn. And some people are rather upset, etc. etc.

Neon Phosphor hates politics, so we'll steer clear, but one thing must end: the use of Flock of Seagulls' 1982 hit "I ran (so far away)" as inspiration for gag-inducingly "clever" blog and article headlines. A search for the phrase "Iran so far away" on google yielded 4,690 hits.

Shut the fuck up, folks. No one's laughing. And a great song is being trivialized. Neon Phosphor would like to direct your attention to the sharp guitar work in the pop classic - the verse riff and solo are noticeably tight and melodic for a band that is now seen as a standard bearer of the synthesizer era.

Also noticeable is the song's fascinating astronomical/metereological diction:
"Aurora borealis comes in view. Aurora comes in view."

An exclusive interview with G

G was the bassist at the two Berkeley shows.

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR.

G: I AM G - simple, easy-going, visionary

NP: HOW DID YOU GET THE GIG TO BE THE TONICS' BAY AREA BASSIST?

G: I responded to Steven's posting on Craigslist as a last minute filler.

NP: WHAT'S IT LIKE TO PLAY IN THE TONICS?

G: Anytime, anywhere, anyplace sums it up. Good people!

NP: DESCRIBE YOUR MUSICAL CAREER, INCLUDING CURRENT PROJECTS.

G: I experienced a rebirth after not having played for 10 years. I feel grateful, blessed, inspired and passionate to be musical; it's a gift I enjoy sharing and collaborating with others. Current projects: www.sundaygroove.com (pop band), THREAD (metal band), S&G Inc. (acoustic/rock ballad w/ female vocalist. I play acoustic guitar)

NP: THANK YOU

G: and thank you.... take care.

An exclusive interview with Alan Lawrence

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR.

AL: Yes, you are!

NP: HOW DID YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE TONICS START, AND WHAT WAS THE FIRST TONICS/SCULPTED STATIC SONG YOU HEARD?

AL: It was some years ago, I only vaguely remember...but it must have been Mad Men, which I enjoyed very much. But the ones that leapt out at me at the time were Marbles and, most especially, Star Ferry. I must have listened to Star Ferry a hundred times a day back then, everywhere I drove. It was the combination of the wacky, lovelorn lyrics and the effervescent melody, it made the song feel as if it were coming from high in the air, and never exactly alighting on the ground.

NP. WHAT'S THE MOST INTERESTING THING THAT HAPPENED DURING A VIDEO SHOOT WITH THE TONICS?

AL: I think the most interesting moment came from the Distance music video, when I sent the Tonics (then Sculpted Static) running out on a bluff with the vague instructions to just "goof around." We chased after them with the camera, and quite alarmingly each band member in turn made for the cliff-edge of the bluff and leapt straight off. They were like lemmings, running on some kind of non-verbal communication or instinctual programming, except they were all very into it. I was terrified. Luckily, it wasn't that far down to the next cliff, and they all survived.

Also, I would say that the filming of the Apart video was altogether one of my most enjoyable filming experiences. The band members were so spontaneous that everything we filmed just worked. There's a real spontaneous inspiration to that video, and it's thanks to the rapport we all had that day. You can watch that one again and again, and it doesn't really get old.

NP: WHAT ARE YOUR CURRENT PROJECTS AND HOW ARE THE TONICS' MUSIC GOING TO BE USED?

AL: Current projects include a feature-length experimental narrative film called Graceful Accident. It's a fractured piece of manipulated, semi-archival film about the fractured, semi-archival nature of romantic relationships in a contemporary city. It's due to be finished in August, with a premiere in September, most likely. The Tonics/Sculpted Static will have a number of songs in the movie, and the band will be recording some further music to accompany the various scenes. The feel will be pretty grungy and rebellious, but with a kind of romantic side as well.

Then there is a short film about ghostly love from beyond the grave. Sexy, pastoral, and fun, it'll finally give people what they want: a story to follow. I'm not sure what The Tonics are doing for it right now. Arta and I talked about music for it, but the direction I'm looking for in the music is pretty out-there. I'm sure the Tonics can handle it, I'll just be interested to see what comes up, 'cus at the moment I can't imagine what they'll do. But that's the best kind of collaboration, anyway.

NP: THANK YOU.

AL: Well, thank you, too, mystery person!

You and me and Leslie

Steven recorded harmony vocals for "Agoraphobia," "Greenback," and remixed "Lucy." The new versions of "Agoraphobia" and "Lucy" are already online: head over to the music section to download.

Mr. Sandman

Today, we're going to do a close listening to The Chordettes' "Mr. Sandman" (1954), one of the greatest pop songs ever.

0:00 - Handclaps
Apparently a Chordette trademark, similar handclaps open their other hit, "Lollipop." The handclaps persist throughout the first verse.

0:02 - Bom bom bom bom...
Notice how the first two "boms" are held throughout the rest of the melodic phrase. By the way, the "boms" arpeggiate the Bbmaj7 and Cm7 chords.

0:10 - Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, etc.
Brilliantly, the keyboard picks up where the "boms" left off, doing the same arpeggio. Upright bass plays on the beat.

0:14, 0:19, 0:23 - Bom bom bom bom (at the end of each line)
These "boms" (mixed into the foreground) help move the song along. In particular, the first set of "boms" helps the keyboard cut out without sounding weird.

0:29 - Sandman, I’m so alone, etc.

0:45 - Add light, jazzy drums, like the kind that Ian likes to play

0:55 - Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, etc.
Upright bass playing fancy jazz bass line. Saxophone licks at the end of each line (instead of the "boms")

1:23 - Please turn on your magic beam... oo-wah!
The "oo-wah" is a perhaps musical enactment of turning on a magic beam. Really. Synesthesia!

1:28 - "Boms" with different chords!

1:37 - Mr. Sandman (male voice: "Yes?") bring us a dream, etc.
Let's not rush to judgment here. It's a male voice swooping down from the sky. Does it work? Imagine the song without it. Would it still be as much of a dialogue? Does it not add another dimension to the song?

The bass is noticeably less busy in this verse.

1:46 - Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci (sax lick)

1:51 - And lots of wavy hair like Liberace (piano glissando)
Liberace was a pianist and a popular entertainer.

1:55 - Mr Sandman, someone to hold (someone to hold)

2:03 - So please turn on your magic beam (faint keyboard)
Quoting the beginning of the song is a way to signal the end of the song, like the end of the cycle or something. Mark did this on "The Clapping Song."

2:08 - Saxophone plays low notes, further signalling the end of the song

2:17 - "Boms" end the song

The Shortwave Set

Steven: "by the way, i was listening to xfm and i heard this amazing song called 'Slingshot' from a new UK band called The Shortwave Set. it's not exactly what we should be doing, but it's the kind of experimentation that picks up where the 60s left off. here's a review from the times. too bad no one's going to hear it in the states, because you have to get it on import for $27.99."

Our in-house notation style

The Tonics are a melodic bunch, and often they come up with melodic ideas when they don't have a tape recorder or music composition books. So how do they make sure they don't forget melody lines? Steven has used the following "Notepad-friendly" notation style for vocal melodies:

[note][octave][note][octave][note][octave]...
[count][count][count]...

The "Lucy tricked me into something" melody would be transcribed like this:

F2E2D2F2C2Bb1A1C2
1 2 3 4 1 2 a3 4

The top row tells you the pitch, followed by which octave it's in, so you can see that the Bb is the one that's below the C, not above. The bottom row shows the rhythm. Each number is the count that the note falls on. The syncopation happens on "-to some-"----the "-to" falls on the 2nd beat, and "some-" falls on the 'and' beat of the 2nd beat (hence the "a3"). Take a look at the following diagram if you are confused:

F2      E2      D2      F2      C2      Bb1 A1          C2
Lu      cy      tricked me      in      to  some        thing
1       2       3       4       1       2   a   3       4

You can make the notation even shorter by stating the octave only when it changes, and deleting the "3" beat that "some" doesn't actually fall on.

F2EDFCBb1AC2
1 2 3 4 1 2 a 4

The Tonics on LimeWire

I did a search for The Tonics on LimeWire (a file sharing program) and found a copy each of "Distance" and "Thank You." Both files were downloaded from music.download.com (you can tell from the comments section of the mp3s). Unfortunately, download.com doesn't give our mp3s good filenames ("01 Thank You.mp3" and "01 Distance.mp3") so it's probably hard to find in file-sharing programs, and harder still if you're trying to find it on your hard drive.

So please, as a courtesy to other people who want to download our music illegally, please rename your files to the standard "The Tonics - Distance.mp3" or "The Tonics - 01 - Distance.mp3" or something that is easily identifiable. And be sure to put our mp3s into your shared folder. Thank you.

The Tonics in the new Alan Lawrence film?

I got word from Arta that Alan Lawrence is making a new film about lovers, crime and suicide pacts, and we are to produce the soundtrack for it. We previously did the soundtrack for his still-to-be-finished short film "Graceful Accident."

There are rumors that Robert Aghassi, a former member of the band, will star in this new film. Robert, of course, sang on the ancient Sculpted Static song "Einsamkeit" and the "Hell" section of Heart of Darkness: The Rock Opera. He also wrote the unreleased "You're An S.M.F. (Latin and metal versions)" and "Check My Blood Pressure," and pioneered the Sculpted Static signature count-off, "1-2-345!"

Arta has also been in touch with trumpet player Josh Aguiar, a "true jazz soloist," whose services might come in handy for the soundtrack and other Tonics songs.

Magazine previews

Here are two screens from the upcoming Tonics website.

"So, who is Lucy?"

----Lucy is a 3.18 million year old female hominid, of the genus Australopithecus, whose skeleton was discovered on November 24, 1974 by Donald Johanson, Yves Coppens and Tim White in the Afar Depression of Ethiopia.

"What did she trick you into?"----The human condition.

Junk mail

Aristatic (our e-mail account) is the target of many direct marketing campaigns. Neon Phosphor has lately taken up the hobby of replying to such e-mails, especially ones that claim to have stumbled upon our great music, and "will you please upload it to the site I am promoting?"

Today, I got an e-mail from an A&R person from the Independent Artists Company, who claimed in his form letter that he was "a fan" of our music and that "I thought of you recently when we were trying to figure out which good acts haven't been invited yet. No, this is not random spam, I swear." Great, so I shot back an e-mail asking if he would explain how he heard about The Tonics and which songs he liked. Even if he hadn't actually heard us, I figure he'd be forced to do it now, if he wanted our business badly enough. [Later, Toby actually replied to my e-mail, saying that he'd heard about us from "a friend who listens a lot at download.com" and that their favorite songs are "Elegy For Anne Bancroft" and "Lucy." Fair enough. We'll put something on IAC.]

Other recent unsolicited mail have included:

• A "hot new British chill-out band" called Mooli
• An invitation to join BandSpace
• Frank from Hot Live Bands who's putting together a compilation CD and would like to talk to us about the possibility of having one of our tracks featured on it. Ironic, since we are anything but a hot live band at the moment.
• Ted Beam from South Pasadena who "listened to 'Lucy' online and really liked it" and wanted to get the members of Sculpted Static (our old band) to attend his show at the Bent clothing store on Mission Street.
• Again addressed to Sculpted Static, an invitation to join Artisterie, who are "real fans" of our work.
• Toonopoly, a logo/sticker/site designer with "competitive prices and great ideas that will blow your mind."
• Vince Griffin inviting us to use the full-service Sound Vision recording studio in the South Bay area

If you want to contact us, please e-mail aristatic@yahoo.com. You will get a reply.

"Which indie label would you sign up with?"

----We are already signed to the United States Postal Service. We pay them 83 cents, and they deliver the CD to one of our valued customers.

"You know, a lot of successful bands actually..."----Who says we aren't a successful band already? We have lots of great material, and more on the way. We have an EP and a half, just sitting there waiting to be snatched up. And don't forget, we have Sunny Ash, a decent full-length album from our other band. We are currently not losing money to a label. How are we not a success already? Tell me.

"Okay, but a lot of other successful bands actually play live."----A good performance can mask bad or inconsequential songwriting. Think about the last five garage bands you've seen. How many melodic hooks can you remember? How many songs fell outside of the pop/punk/garage rock genre? We don't play often, but when we do, people instantly remember something like "Lu-u-cy..."

"Would you say your music echoes The Olivia Tremor Control and other members of the Elephant 6 collective?"

----Who the fuck are you talking about? Have you been reading Pitchfork again? Go listen to The Beatles. Early Beatles.

"I heard rumors that one of the Tonics suffers from multiple personality disorder."----Even if that were true, when has mental illness necessarily been an impediment to great art and other contributions to society?

"Brian Wilson."----What? He made Pet Sounds. Try doing that when you're sane.

"Do you have an album?"

----Yes. In fact, we have about a few hundred in our collections. Maybe more. I don't know. They're making iPods with bigger and bigger capacities these days.

"How often do you play?"----Can you be more specific? Play on words? Play on the swing set? Play a cassette? What?

"I mean playing music together, as a band."----Yeah, once in a while, we go out for a drive around the Cube, blasting the neighborhood with loud classic rock.

"Do you write your own songs?"----Yeah, they write to me. Neon Phosphor is the only song that bothers to respond.

Non-precious Belle & Sebastian moments

Over the last nine years, Belle & Sebastian's records have become a sort of mainstay of hipsters' music collections. Soon to be replaced by The Tonics, of course. The following are B&S songs that actually rock:

"Le Pastie De La Bourgeoisie" - with a fast 2/4 rhythm and surf-rock guitars, this electrifying rocker is off the 3..6..9 Seconds of Light EP.

"Stay Loose" - from Dear Catastrophe Waitress. An 70s-80s-style pop song over 6 minutes long, with synthesizer swells and harmonized guitar solos! That Pitchfork gave the album a mediocre review should be reason enough to give it a listen.

"Stop, Look And Listen" - from the I'm A Cuckoo EP. After a few minutes of some very repetitive verses, a great surf-rock instrumental kicks in out of nowhere. This instrumental was actually used as a concert opener.

"Judy Is A Dick Slap" - from the Legal Man EP, a synth-driven instrumental.

"Electric Renaissance" - from Tigermilk. Almost completely synthesized, and lots of delay on Stuart Murdoch's voice. Tigermilk, on a whole, rocks more than all their other albums.

Greatest moments in rock and roll, part 11

Vocal harmony dissection of the day: The Beach Boys - Don't Worry Baby

The chorus:

Harm1+2        Don't worry baby                       Don't worry baby
Bass    Now don't                    now don't you wor         ry baby 
Lead    She  says               don't worry baby              everything

Harm1+2                Don't worry baby               Don't worry baby Ooh
Bass    Now don't                    now don't you wor         ry baby Ooh
Lead    will turn out all right      don't worry baby                  Ooh

The stereo separation is: Harm1+2 (right), Bass (right), Lead (left). The coolest thing about this harmony is the bass line and how it joins the other two harmonies at the end of each line.

"Don't Worry Baby" was recorded on February 20, 1964, with lead vocals by Brian Wilson. Brian was 21 at the time, so at 22 we are already falling behind.

For years hearing it on oldies radio, I never realized it was a car song. Take a closer look at these great lyrics:

I guess I should've kept my mouth shut
When I started to brag about my car
But I can't back down now because
I pushed the other guys too far

The best part is when Brian sings about the danger of driving a race car. Life and death stuff, man:

She told me "Baby, when you race today
Just take along my love with you
And if you knew how much I loved you
Baby nothing could go wrong with you"

The odd lyrical moment comes when he suddenly has sex on his mind: "Oh what she does to me/ When she makes love to me." But it works, doesn't it? This song is a classic.

"How would you describe the current pop music scene?"

----Imagine a swarm of airships hovering over the entire Los Angeles basin, with gigantic amps and speakers attached to their sides. Then think of the loudest, power-chord driven song blasting out of each of those speakers. Under the shadow of this massive flotilla of dirigibles, the ground starts shaking and the windows are breaking from the shock waves.

"Do you like Avril Lavigne?"----And then the air force scrambles a group of ten F-16s towards this mind-fucking spectacle. The squadron leader gets a missile lock on the closest airship, but, before he could fire, his pathetic jet fighter is blown to pieces by the sheer might of the distorted guitar solo and heavy-ass bass.

"Do you see yourself as a boy band for the 'hip'?"----The incredible sound of maximum R&B even opens up the San Andreas Fault. A fucking magnitude 10.0 earthquake rattles the City of fucking Angels. The earth moans, but it is powerless against the almighty collective power of the airborne amps, with the volume set to 12, baby.

"Are you trying to be famous or something?"

----"Do or do not... there is no try," in the words of Yoda.

"What's the most difficult part of being a Tonic?"

----People mix you up with gin, vodka and god knows what else.

"Will you ever sing in a foreign language?"----As Arta revealed in an earlier exclusive interview, we were going to have Sanskrit on "Lucy," but it didn't happen. For a quick and easy way to hear our music in a foreign language, move to a non-English-speaking country and/or change your mother tongue.

"Will you be selling band merchandise?"

----In lieu of buying Tonics merchandise, we request your money be spent on worthier causes like the revolution.

"What?"----Well, you know, we all want to change the world.

"What do you think of the Live 8 concerts?"----I don't know. If we had played "Distance," I'm not sure "When you're rich and young, shouldn't you be having fun?" is the right message to send to the masses clamoring for social change. And the line "I just can't seem to get things done" ("The Clapping Song") seems just a little pessimistic when viewed in context with the push to get the G8 nations to help the third world. And, certainly, we wouldn't want to play "Hamlet." That song would cause activists to slash their wrists instead of marching against the WTO.

"I heard a rumor that a talking parrot will be used in one of the songs."

----That is untrue. It's actually a singing budgerigar.

"Tell me, did you have any trouble getting the bird to sing?"----It's a fucking budgerigar. Call it what it is. Yes, we needed to pitch-shift it a little, and it kept going out of sync with the backing track.

"What color is this--budgerigar?"----Why does it matter? It don't matter if you're black or white. Or, in this case, blue, green or yellow. They all chirp the same.

"So, which song does it sing on?"----You know I'm just making shit up here, right? Can we just put this to rest?

Omega point theory

According to Arta, those are three words "that may change your life," should we choose to explore its depths. Neon Phosphor is reminded of an upcoming song called "Alpha-Alpha" (formerly known as "Alpha and Omega"). In "an exclusive interview with Mark Williams" from February 21, Mark says that he is the alpha and the omega, and also the kai that binds them together. That statement was previously said by Jesus Christ in Revelation 22:13: "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End," although there's not much difference between Jesus and Mark, what, with that goatee and longish hair (as pictured above).

The future of popgothetonics.com?

Taking full advantage of our stock photo gallery and lessons learned from the New York publishing elite, the next incarnation of the Tonics web site will destroy the world.

"What? Aren't you a rock band? Why do you waste your time on the web site?"----I am Neon Phosphor. I do the web site.

"Isn't that Neon Phosphor on the cover?"----No, she's the stock photo representation of Lucy. She also appears on the back of the latest EP.

"How do you expect to fill 50 pages of your Tonics magazine?"----The same way you fill a sewer. Shit your way through it.

"Penny Lane" is in my ears...

Arta: "Dude, 'Penny Lane' is the most perverted song ever. Look up 'fish and finger pie.' It's gross. I can never listen to that song again."

Other Beatles songs that Arta can never listen to again include "Don't Let Me Down" (because the bass or guitar amps cause Ringo's drums to rattle, especially at the beginning) and "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" (because you can clearly hear John and George flicking their pickup switch at various places in the song). This excellent site lists more ways to ruin your Beatles listening experience.

Nothing to report today

Neon Phosphor takes a break.

Stuff your newsreader with The Tonics

On the sidebar, you'll find a link to the site feed. Imagine "An exclusive interview with The Tonics" right next to actual celebrity gossip. Yep, it could happen. Subscribe yourself today.

Our favorite poem

Ingrid Swanberg is an American poet and the editor-in-chief of ABRAXAS magazine. Here is a link to eight poems, an electronic chapbook in the Light & Dust Anthology of Poetry. What makes her so special? Well, please scroll down to her poem "the night you were born."