More work on "Surf Rock"

Lots of research & development (i.e. lyric & extra chord writing) going into the "Surf Rock" song, which is not a good sign because most good songs don't need this much work. Let's put this in the "unlikely to be released for a while" pile.

In other news, Steven is going to increase the volume levels of all the songs currently available.

Shame on the following spammers

I got these in the comments section on the previous post:

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and

Comic Junkie for Sidebar
That was quick; I'm hoping for plenty of rapid development of new Sidebar panels.
Nice blog site, really cool!

I have a Control Ceiling Fan With site/blog. It pretty much covers Control Ceiling Fan With related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time.

Dudes, like I said, I will only respond kindly to people who spam me, if 1) they obviously did not just target our blog/e-mail randomly, 2) they make some effort to personalize their spam, and 3) going along with point 1, they are advertising some relevant product, service or art project. Come on, Neon Phosphor doesn't need vitamin supplements and control ceiling fans.

A break

Nothing happened today. The surf rock instrumental might turn into a song with lyrics.

"Why is your new instrumental called 'Bartleby'?"

----Because we want you to read "Bartleby," a great short story by Herman Melville. Our song titles will now be used to advertise our personal and political beliefs. This is why our next few songs are going to be called "We're Not As Good As The Velvet Underground," "The American Civil Liberties Union Boogie," "Marx For The Millions," and "http://www.popgothetonics.com/". "Distance" will now be called "While You're Rich And Young, Go Read The Amazing First Part Of Anna Karenina."

"What? You can't be serious. Anyway, what's this I hear about a waltz? Does it even have a name?"----What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

"Did you just rip off Shakespeare?"----Just as well. Our waltz is all about ripping things off. For instance, its time signature is totally ripped off "The Blue Danube."

"Can we expect the album to be released anytime soon?"----No, but if you're looking for something to expect, you can expect the sun to rise tomorrow morning.

It's time to dig another one

Arta and Steven finished the waltz instrumental and got started on a surf rock instrumental.

Radiohead blogwatch

Radiohead have been updating their blog everyday. The latest update says that they've just finished a week-long recording session. Thom's complaining about how tired he is: "six days straight from 11 till late is enough for an old man like me." Sounds like what Steven's been pulling lately. We'll have some new music very soon.

Covering Radiohead is an old Tonics tradition. We've played "Karma Police" three times in concert, "Creep" and "Fake Plastic Trees" once, and even "Morning Bell" at our last show at Stebbins Hall. Steven taught the Radiohead course at UC Berkeley for three semesters.

The Waltz

Steven and Arta started recording a new instrumental called "Waltz." Steven took a short break to do a job interview, but he's otherwise taking full advantage of unemployment to work on The Tonics nonstop. "Waltz" is sounding a lot like the 1812 Overture. "Bartleby" is going onto the album. Are they turning into an instrumental/electronica band? Hope not.

Notes from today

• A recording session was cancelled because of Arta's vegetable issues.
• Steven recorded an instrumental called "Bartleby."
• Mark: "The first part of Anna Karenina is amazing. Read it."
• Ex-Sculpted Static member Robert Aghassi will not appear in Alan's next movie.
  
• Robert Moog, pioneer of electronic music, died yesterday.
  

Attention string musicians

Arta: "If we're going to have a string section, we're going to have it on every song."

Do you want to be a rock star? The Tonics are looking to fill String Musician positions to help fill up the sonic spectrum on their upcoming album. We want people who:

• can play the violin, viola, cello, or a related instrument
  
• can read sheet music
  
• live in California

This position is unpaid and is worse than an internship: we will cover none of your expenses, and this is not a resume building position, unless you want to be a professional musician. However, you get to work on an exciting project to produce the album of our generation.

E-mail a cover letter and resume to aristatic@yahoo.com.

Obscure pop gems from the 60s

A random selection of songs to acquire:

The Pretty Things - "Talkin' About The Good Times"
The "Pretties" recorded S. F. Sorrow, the first rock opera of all time, in spring 1967 at Abbey Road Studios, just down the hall from The Beatles and Pink Floyd, who were working, respectively, on Sgt. Pepper and The Piper at the Gates of Dawn. "Talkin' About The Good Times" was not actually on the album, but it is a bonus track on the S. F. Sorrow reissue. The Pretty Things did not consistently put together good melodies, and their musicianship is a bit suspect. Nevertheless, the ambitious psychedelic rockers regularly tried harmonies and unusual instrumentation. Also check out "Balloon Burning" from the same CD.

The Beach Boys - "Friends"
After the SMiLE failure, The Beach Boys released two underproduced albums before making a serious comeback with Friends. By then, however, the band was totally off the radar and musically irrelevant, having been pushed aside by acts like Jimi Hendrix and The Beatles. Production-wise, Friends is almost in the same league as Pet Sounds. The title track is a flashback to the pre-Pet Sounds Beach Boys: lots of harmonies, catchy melody, simple lyrics. The song has apparently been used by a music school to demonstrate songwriting in waltz time.

The Kinks - "Do You Remember Walter?"
This is off The Village Green Preservation Society, which is making a comeback among the hipper crowd. "Do You Remember Walter" has a great melody, a driving rhythm, and an uncomplicated arrangement. The best part is the weird vocal fade-in to the second verse, after the first chorus... a candidate for one of the greatest moments in rock and roll.

Pink Floyd - "See Emily Play"
If you are reading this, you probably need no introduction to Syd Barrett, the original frontman for the legendary rock band. This pop song from 1967 contains some of the best delayed piano you'll hear anywhere. Also check out "Candy And A Currant Bun," a rare b-side on the "Arnold Layne" single. That one has great lyrics like: "Ooh, don't talk to me. Please, just fuck with me. Please, you know I'm feeling frail."

The Zombies - "A Rose For Emily"
Off Odessey & Oracle, "A Rose For Emily" is a piano-based song years ahead of its time, with a very weird chord progression. The Zombies were probably the most talented all-around British pop group after The Beatles. They are known mostly for "Time Of The Season," the one that goes "What's your name? Who's your daddy? Is he as rich as me?" They should really be known for Odessey, easily one of the greatest albums of all time, right up there with Revolver, Sgt. Pepper, and Pet Sounds. [This post formerly stated that The Zombies were American, when they were actually British. We regret the error.]

The Velvet Underground - "Candy Says"
"Candy Says" is from The Velvet's self-titled album, has a very depressing chord progression to match lyrics like: "Candy says I've come to hate my body and all that it requires in this world." Wouldn't it be a great song for The Tonics to cover, with Mark on lead vocals?

The Association - "Like Always"
They're well-known for the all-time classics "Never My Love," "Along Comes Mary," "Cherish," and "Windy." But "Like Always" contains an amazing, mind-boggling chorus with harmonies going every which way. Get it off their greatest hits album.

The Who - "A Quick One, While He's Away"
A Tonics favorite, this classic song about fornication is available in way too many versions. The best one is the 9 min 11 sec studio recording off the A Quick One album (it's the one with a second, faster verse for Ivor the engine driver). The last movement is used in the film Rushmore, another Tonics favorite.

"You must get this a lot, but who's Lucy?"

----Lucy was a classmate of Julian Lennon and the subject of Julian's painting, "Lucy in the sky with diamonds," which inspired his father John to write the song of the same name.

Four year old Lucy Richardson was about a year older than Julian when he enrolled at the private Heath House School in Weybridge, Surrey. John Lennon and the other Beatles visited her family's antique and jewellery shop now and then, so the family knew Julian. When the little boy became homesick or unsettled at school, Lucy would be called out of class to sit with him while he drew pictures.

In 2005, her sister Mary Foster said, "One day John Lennon came into the shop and said, 'Hello, Lucy in the sky with diamonds.' We thought it was just John being John." When the song appeared on Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, the Richardsons noticed the name but weren't sure of any connection until 1975, when Lennon told an interviewer the story of his son's picture.

Richardson went on to work in the film industry and is credited as art director on films such as Elizabeth, Chocolat and The Life and Death of Peter Sellers. She never married. In 2003, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. After gruelling therapy the cancer reportedly spread to her bones, and she died on 1 June 2005.

When she was buried in Weybridge her family sprinkled crystals on the grave, symbolizing the song's title.

Consumption

Steven lost his RadioShack dynamic mic in New York. It's about time to get a better one, anyway. How about the Behringer XM8500 Microphone?

Let your voice shine with a dedicated vocal mic for a song of a price.

The cardioid pattern focuses on your voice while the integrated shockmount system reduces handling noise to almost nothing. Balanced low-impedance output connects to any console or microphone preamp. 50Hz to 15kHz frequency response for crystal-clear, highly detailed vocals. 2-stage pop filter minimizes breath and pop noises. Comes with rugged hard case with mic clip and stand adapter.

Alan's waltz

Arta and Steven wrote an instrumental piece for Alan's new film. The chords are Em Am Em Am C G6 Cmaj7 G6 D. The riff is ripped off The Clash's "Rebel Waltz." Recording was postponed due to backpack issues and a missing high E string.

Neon to Radiohead: "Can you update everyday like Neon Phosphor?"

Radiohead, one of the great bands of our time but representing the generation before us, have started a blog called Dead Air Space. Being the good citizen of the blogosphere that I am, I have added it to my blogroll. And I expect reciprocation. So far, Thom Yorke has managed to update the blog everyday since it was created two days ago. Let's see how long he can keep it up. His latest post is about going into the studio tomorrow, which is not unlike the stuff Neon Phosphor typically posts.

Speaking of which, we should probably do some recording ourselves. Mark will try to set up a recording situation for himself at Davis, so that he can record the distorted guitar parts to "The Spanish Song" and "The Clapping Song" because he misses playing distorted guitar. And maybe some lead vocals, while he's at it.

An exclusive interview with Steven Chow

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR

SC: how may i help you today?

NP: WE KNOW YOU'RE PARTICULARLY CONCERNED ABOUT GETTING THE BEST AUDIO QUALITY OUT OF A WIDE RANGE OF SPEAKERS. LET'S TALK, FOR INSTANCE, ABOUT MIXING IN MONO.

SC: our music is immune to the kissing disease. listen to our album once, and you'll want to hang yourself. it's definitely not makeout music.

NP: LISTEN, SMARTASS, NOBODY GIVES NEON PHOSPHOR A HARD TIME. WHY ARE YOU CONSIDERING MIXING THE ALBUM IN MONO INSTEAD OF STEREO?

SC: ask yourself this, when have you ever had a perfectly functional set of speakers? we know that many of our listeners are driving around in old cars with speakers that don't necessarily work on both sides. one of the speakers in my car doesn't work. the left speaker on arta's car has issues with the bass end. even on my stereo at home, it's hard to get the speaker volumes balanced, because of wiring issues on the back. the most annoying thing is listening to stereo recordings where all the harmonies or cool instruments are on the stereo channel that you can't hear. finally, even when you have good speakers, they're probably not in a sonically perfect place in relation to you. when you mix in mono, you know exactly how the mix is going to sound, anywhere, on any sound system. phil spector and brian wilson always mixed in mono.

NP: ANY CHANCE YOU'LL BE COVERING MONO'S "LIFE IN MONO," THE ONE-HIT WONDER FROM THE 90'S?

SC: you never want to cover a hit song because it'll always turn out worse than the original

"Just curious. Who is Lucy?"

----Saint Lucy of Syracuse is the patron saint of the blind and those with eye-trouble, such as Thom Yorke, Stevie Wonder and our very own Steven.

Lucy means "light", with the same Latin root, lux, as "lucid," which means "clear, radiant, understandable." "In 'Lucy' is said, the way of light" Jacobus de Voragine stated at the beginning of his vita of the Blessed Virgin Lucy, in Legenda Aurea, the most widely-read version of the Lucy legend in the Middle Ages. St Lucy's history is shrouded in darkness: all that is really known for certain is that she was a martyr in Syracuse in Diocletian's persecutions of 303 A.D.. Her veneration spread to Rome, so that by the sixth century the whole Church recognized her courage in defense of the faith.

A day of inactivity

Although The Tonics didn't do anything today, last night we got a preview of the type of destruction that the new album will cause unto the world. Thunder and lightning erupted directly over South Pasadena. We know that because the thunder and lightning were almost simultaneous.

In other news, "The Clapping Song" vocals will be re-recorded instead of hacked together, according to Arta.

"Clapping Song" problem

Steven: "the clapping song vocal track will be a combination of several vocal takes from today and eight months ago. because we used different mics, it's really hard to get the EQ consistent. i think this is what the chorus will sound like:

mark solo from winter take: i just can't seem to get things done, maybe i'm just spun
mark from winter + 3 stevens: but who the hell knows with me?
mark from today + 2 stevens trying to cover up strangely EQ'd mark: i just seem to get things wrong, i come off too strong
4 stevens: it's all my mind, all the time

so it'll be like a call-response/motown beatles thing."

Recording session

Today, Mark recorded "Mean Song" and new lead vocals for "The Clapping Song." The Tonics pioneered a new recording technique involving Mark going under a piano cover with the condenser mic to minimize reverb.

An exclusive interview with Ian Asbjornsen

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR.

IA: I am not a melted VCD.

NP: INDEED. WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK TO THE STATES, IF EVER?

IA: I have just arrived to D'eena Town. Due to translation difficulties I had problems communicating with you while in China.

NP: WHAT'S THE MOST INTERESTING THING YOU'VE SEEN IN CHINA, THE LAND (OF COURSE) OF GIANT PANDAS?

IA: I saw things that no red-blooded American could ever fully comprehend. I have learned things about the subconcious that no one should ever have to know. I saw Tibetans mouth-feeding their infants.

NP: FASCINATING. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO MATT SIEMONSMA, THE DRUMMER WHO SUBBED FOR YOU AT THE BERKELEY SHOW A FEW MONTHS AGO?

IA: I would say: "It was so brave of you to attempt to steal my position while I was ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET." But seriously thanks for keeping rock alive while I was out shopping for my soul.

Album update

Last night, Steven burned a CD with about 20 tracks and more than 60 minutes worth of everything The Tonics have recorded. In other news:

• "Crowds of Nervous People" might get an "Eleanor Rigby"-treatment, i.e. a string quartet.
• "The Spanish Song" and "Tonight" are back on the album.
• "Hamlet" will be re-recorded.
• "The Clapping Song" will not be re-recorded, but Ian's drum track will be heavily modified to sound heavier. Also, Steven will add some more harmonies.
  
• "Blank Page" is almost finished.
• "Apart" needs more vocal harmonies, and we still haven't decided what to put on the coda.
• Steven's piano needs to be tuned.

Speaking of vocal range

Here is a list of the highest notes reached by Mark and Steven (lead vocals only):

Mark
Portrait, A4
Alpha/Alpha, A4 (falsetto)
Distance, G#4
Apart, F#4
Nothing, F#4
The Clapping Song, F4
Save The Day, E4
Hamlet, E4
Terrible, E4
Sunday Night, E4
Sad, D#4
Blank Page, D4
Thank You, D4
Not Enough, D4

Steven
Cube, B4 (falsetto)
Lucy Tricked Me Into Something, A4
Marbles, A4
Crowds of Nervous People, A4 (falsetto)
Elegy For Anne Bancroft, A4 (falsetto)
Therefore Play Music, G#4
Last Sun, G#4
Refrain (original version), G4
Paratrooper, G4
Radio, G4
Lucy, F#4
UFO, F#4
Mad Men, F#4
Maritime Blues, F#4
No Logo, F#4

The Spanish Song

Steven recorded the synths, acoustic guitar and vocals for "The Spanish Song." To appease Arta, it now has an E to Am switch instead of E to F. Ian retroactively recorded the drums. Steven says: "I don't like my vocals in the first verse. I fear my voice has changed. On the bright side, I can now hit A#4 with my head voice, which finally lets me sing 'Long Tall Sally', 'I'm Down' and 'Got To Get You Into My Life.' Theoretically, I can also sing 'Smells Like Teen Spirit', but I haven't tried. My lowest note, by the way, is F#2, although the lowest note I have recorded is a G2, which I hit on 'Haste'. So, my range is two octaves and a couple extra notes."

Meanwhile, on the radio...

We are a member of the Independent Artists Company because of their excellent customer outreach department. An IAC station called Bubbling Under the Big 50 is playing "Elegy For Anne Bancroft."

We are being played on KDVS (Davis, CA) by two DJs. She likes "Thank You." They like "Lucy."

Poetry in advertising

Today, I got this kind e-mail from the folks at iSOUND.com:

Sign up with one of the largest music communities, iSOUND.COM
Sign up an artist account.
Sell your music and keep 100% of the net profits!
Instantly create your own professional band/artist web site.
Promote your music to 1,000,000 music fans each month!
Upload your MP3's.
and much, much more...

I don't know why some web sites don't spend more time writing their e-mail offers, although this e-mail scores high in the cut-to-the-point department. But can you actually see anyone behind this generic advertising language, except maybe a loudmouth ex-car salesman? Who, but the most desperate of unsigned bands, want to deal with you? There's no name on there, and Neon Phosphor doesn't respond to e-mails without a name and some mention of the Tonics.

Sculpted Static flashback of the day

Named during an AIM conversation, "Salvo Social" was never one of the band's favorite songs, but it enjoyed quite a busy existence from the beginning. It first appeared in the spring of 2003, when Arta recorded ProgZ and wrote lyrics for the first two verses (without knowing the melody). Steven came up with the melody and added an extra verse.

Arta and Steven came home from school and started recording "Salvo Social" for a new album. Mark did not play on the recording because he was at school. Ian was replaced by a drum machine, which seemed to suit the song just fine. Nevertheless, "Salvo Social" was the most sophisticated recording by Sculpted Static at the time. It featured a strong guitar hook, audio samples, and modulation to a different key.

Listen to "Salvo Social" somewhere on this page
Lyrics to "Salvo Social"

During the third verse, Steven accuses ABC News of "putting your head inside the noose of ignorance," but, of course, he is not talking about the great Peter Jennings, the longtime ABC newsanchor (and Canadian) who died a few days ago. The man who took his work seriously but never took himself too seriously, the man who hated Fox News, never interviewed George W. Bush, and was frequently accused of having a liberal bias.

Anyway, "Salvo Social" was considered strong enough to lead off the Distance EP and the No Future concert. Unfortunately, the live performance was a little too sloppy, due to the band's not having practiced with Mark until that day, and Ian having only heard the song a few days before.

The lack of response to "Salvo Social" from EP listeners meant that the rockin' song was pushed to the second half of the new album, now called Sunny Ash.

It has been rumored that Alan Lawrence will be using "Salvo Social" in one of his short films.

I love to say da da

According to its proponents, Dada was not art — it was anti-art. For everything that art stood for, Dada was to represent the opposite. Where art was concerned with aesthetics, Dada ignored aesthetics. If art was to have at least an implicit or latent message, Dada strove to have no meaning — interpretation of Dada is dependent entirely on the viewer. If art is to appeal to sensibilities, Dada is to offend. It is perhaps then ironic that Dada became an influential movement in modern art. Dada became a commentary on art and the world, thus became art itself.

Those who participated in Dada were attracted to a nihilistic point of view (nothing achieved by mankind was worthwhile, not even art), and created art in which chance and randomness formed the basis of creation.

Dada was a way to express the confusion felt by many people as their world turned upside down by World War I. There was not an attempt to find meaning in disorder, but rather to accept disorder as the nature of the world, using it as a means to express their distaste for the aesthetics of the previous order and carnage they believed it reaped. Through this rejection of traditional culture and aesthetics they hoped to destroy traditional culture and aesthetics.

"Do you sell ringtones?"

----No, we're not in the jewelry business. If you want to change the tone of your ring, you should look into getting it polished, stained or engraved.

An exclusive interview with Steven Chow

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR.

SC: yeah?

NP: WELCOME BACK TO SOUTH PASADENA. WHAT DID YOU LEARN IN NEW YORK?

SC: how to ride the subway

NP: INTERESTING. ARE YOU INSPIRED TO WRITE SONGS?

SC: and how to take the greyhound to amherst

NP: WILL THIS ALBUM BE FINISHED SOON?

SC: where i acted out morrissey's suedehead video by tracking down my favorite historical figure in a small town and visiting her house and gravesite. for me it was emily dickinson. morrissey visited james dean. it felt strange to be in the same room where nearly 1800 of the most remarkable poems in the english language were written. then it was quite an emotional experience at the cemetary to see the patch of grass directly above emily's remains

NP: I'VE BEEN ASKED A LOT, WHO IS LUCY? PERHAPS YOU CAN ANSWER THAT FOR ME.

SC: i'm so exhausted from my trip home that i'm going to sleep. later, neon.

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie

The Tonics enjoy receiving their news from a plethora of international news sources, such as The Guardian and the BBC. The latter, while providing some of the best mainstream news coverage of world events and some decent features, also provides moments of hilarity which make a Tonic smile as only some vodka and lime could:

Italian river full of cocaine

Worst moments in rock and roll

Today's feature: bad music-related puns in political commentary.

If you haven't been under a rock for the past 6 months, you know that Iran's been in the news lately. Uranium. Bombs. yawn. And some people are rather upset, etc. etc.

Neon Phosphor hates politics, so we'll steer clear, but one thing must end: the use of Flock of Seagulls' 1982 hit "I ran (so far away)" as inspiration for gag-inducingly "clever" blog and article headlines. A search for the phrase "Iran so far away" on google yielded 4,690 hits.

Shut the fuck up, folks. No one's laughing. And a great song is being trivialized. Neon Phosphor would like to direct your attention to the sharp guitar work in the pop classic - the verse riff and solo are noticeably tight and melodic for a band that is now seen as a standard bearer of the synthesizer era.

Also noticeable is the song's fascinating astronomical/metereological diction:
"Aurora borealis comes in view. Aurora comes in view."

An exclusive interview with G

G was the bassist at the two Berkeley shows.

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR.

G: I AM G - simple, easy-going, visionary

NP: HOW DID YOU GET THE GIG TO BE THE TONICS' BAY AREA BASSIST?

G: I responded to Steven's posting on Craigslist as a last minute filler.

NP: WHAT'S IT LIKE TO PLAY IN THE TONICS?

G: Anytime, anywhere, anyplace sums it up. Good people!

NP: DESCRIBE YOUR MUSICAL CAREER, INCLUDING CURRENT PROJECTS.

G: I experienced a rebirth after not having played for 10 years. I feel grateful, blessed, inspired and passionate to be musical; it's a gift I enjoy sharing and collaborating with others. Current projects: www.sundaygroove.com (pop band), THREAD (metal band), S&G Inc. (acoustic/rock ballad w/ female vocalist. I play acoustic guitar)

NP: THANK YOU

G: and thank you.... take care.

An exclusive interview with Alan Lawrence

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR.

AL: Yes, you are!

NP: HOW DID YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE TONICS START, AND WHAT WAS THE FIRST TONICS/SCULPTED STATIC SONG YOU HEARD?

AL: It was some years ago, I only vaguely remember...but it must have been Mad Men, which I enjoyed very much. But the ones that leapt out at me at the time were Marbles and, most especially, Star Ferry. I must have listened to Star Ferry a hundred times a day back then, everywhere I drove. It was the combination of the wacky, lovelorn lyrics and the effervescent melody, it made the song feel as if it were coming from high in the air, and never exactly alighting on the ground.

NP. WHAT'S THE MOST INTERESTING THING THAT HAPPENED DURING A VIDEO SHOOT WITH THE TONICS?

AL: I think the most interesting moment came from the Distance music video, when I sent the Tonics (then Sculpted Static) running out on a bluff with the vague instructions to just "goof around." We chased after them with the camera, and quite alarmingly each band member in turn made for the cliff-edge of the bluff and leapt straight off. They were like lemmings, running on some kind of non-verbal communication or instinctual programming, except they were all very into it. I was terrified. Luckily, it wasn't that far down to the next cliff, and they all survived.

Also, I would say that the filming of the Apart video was altogether one of my most enjoyable filming experiences. The band members were so spontaneous that everything we filmed just worked. There's a real spontaneous inspiration to that video, and it's thanks to the rapport we all had that day. You can watch that one again and again, and it doesn't really get old.

NP: WHAT ARE YOUR CURRENT PROJECTS AND HOW ARE THE TONICS' MUSIC GOING TO BE USED?

AL: Current projects include a feature-length experimental narrative film called Graceful Accident. It's a fractured piece of manipulated, semi-archival film about the fractured, semi-archival nature of romantic relationships in a contemporary city. It's due to be finished in August, with a premiere in September, most likely. The Tonics/Sculpted Static will have a number of songs in the movie, and the band will be recording some further music to accompany the various scenes. The feel will be pretty grungy and rebellious, but with a kind of romantic side as well.

Then there is a short film about ghostly love from beyond the grave. Sexy, pastoral, and fun, it'll finally give people what they want: a story to follow. I'm not sure what The Tonics are doing for it right now. Arta and I talked about music for it, but the direction I'm looking for in the music is pretty out-there. I'm sure the Tonics can handle it, I'll just be interested to see what comes up, 'cus at the moment I can't imagine what they'll do. But that's the best kind of collaboration, anyway.

NP: THANK YOU.

AL: Well, thank you, too, mystery person!

You and me and Leslie

Steven recorded harmony vocals for "Agoraphobia," "Greenback," and remixed "Lucy." The new versions of "Agoraphobia" and "Lucy" are already online: head over to the music section to download.

Mr. Sandman

Today, we're going to do a close listening to The Chordettes' "Mr. Sandman" (1954), one of the greatest pop songs ever.

0:00 - Handclaps
Apparently a Chordette trademark, similar handclaps open their other hit, "Lollipop." The handclaps persist throughout the first verse.

0:02 - Bom bom bom bom...
Notice how the first two "boms" are held throughout the rest of the melodic phrase. By the way, the "boms" arpeggiate the Bbmaj7 and Cm7 chords.

0:10 - Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, etc.
Brilliantly, the keyboard picks up where the "boms" left off, doing the same arpeggio. Upright bass plays on the beat.

0:14, 0:19, 0:23 - Bom bom bom bom (at the end of each line)
These "boms" (mixed into the foreground) help move the song along. In particular, the first set of "boms" helps the keyboard cut out without sounding weird.

0:29 - Sandman, I’m so alone, etc.

0:45 - Add light, jazzy drums, like the kind that Ian likes to play

0:55 - Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream, etc.
Upright bass playing fancy jazz bass line. Saxophone licks at the end of each line (instead of the "boms")

1:23 - Please turn on your magic beam... oo-wah!
The "oo-wah" is a perhaps musical enactment of turning on a magic beam. Really. Synesthesia!

1:28 - "Boms" with different chords!

1:37 - Mr. Sandman (male voice: "Yes?") bring us a dream, etc.
Let's not rush to judgment here. It's a male voice swooping down from the sky. Does it work? Imagine the song without it. Would it still be as much of a dialogue? Does it not add another dimension to the song?

The bass is noticeably less busy in this verse.

1:46 - Give him a lonely heart like Pagliacci (sax lick)

1:51 - And lots of wavy hair like Liberace (piano glissando)
Liberace was a pianist and a popular entertainer.

1:55 - Mr Sandman, someone to hold (someone to hold)

2:03 - So please turn on your magic beam (faint keyboard)
Quoting the beginning of the song is a way to signal the end of the song, like the end of the cycle or something. Mark did this on "The Clapping Song."

2:08 - Saxophone plays low notes, further signalling the end of the song

2:17 - "Boms" end the song

The Shortwave Set

Steven: "by the way, i was listening to xfm and i heard this amazing song called 'Slingshot' from a new UK band called The Shortwave Set. it's not exactly what we should be doing, but it's the kind of experimentation that picks up where the 60s left off. here's a review from the times. too bad no one's going to hear it in the states, because you have to get it on import for $27.99."

Our in-house notation style

The Tonics are a melodic bunch, and often they come up with melodic ideas when they don't have a tape recorder or music composition books. So how do they make sure they don't forget melody lines? Steven has used the following "Notepad-friendly" notation style for vocal melodies:

[note][octave][note][octave][note][octave]...
[count][count][count]...

The "Lucy tricked me into something" melody would be transcribed like this:

F2E2D2F2C2Bb1A1C2
1 2 3 4 1 2 a3 4

The top row tells you the pitch, followed by which octave it's in, so you can see that the Bb is the one that's below the C, not above. The bottom row shows the rhythm. Each number is the count that the note falls on. The syncopation happens on "-to some-"----the "-to" falls on the 2nd beat, and "some-" falls on the 'and' beat of the 2nd beat (hence the "a3"). Take a look at the following diagram if you are confused:

F2      E2      D2      F2      C2      Bb1 A1          C2
Lu      cy      tricked me      in      to  some        thing
1       2       3       4       1       2   a   3       4

You can make the notation even shorter by stating the octave only when it changes, and deleting the "3" beat that "some" doesn't actually fall on.

F2EDFCBb1AC2
1 2 3 4 1 2 a 4

The Tonics on LimeWire

I did a search for The Tonics on LimeWire (a file sharing program) and found a copy each of "Distance" and "Thank You." Both files were downloaded from music.download.com (you can tell from the comments section of the mp3s). Unfortunately, download.com doesn't give our mp3s good filenames ("01 Thank You.mp3" and "01 Distance.mp3") so it's probably hard to find in file-sharing programs, and harder still if you're trying to find it on your hard drive.

So please, as a courtesy to other people who want to download our music illegally, please rename your files to the standard "The Tonics - Distance.mp3" or "The Tonics - 01 - Distance.mp3" or something that is easily identifiable. And be sure to put our mp3s into your shared folder. Thank you.

The Tonics in the new Alan Lawrence film?

I got word from Arta that Alan Lawrence is making a new film about lovers, crime and suicide pacts, and we are to produce the soundtrack for it. We previously did the soundtrack for his still-to-be-finished short film "Graceful Accident."

There are rumors that Robert Aghassi, a former member of the band, will star in this new film. Robert, of course, sang on the ancient Sculpted Static song "Einsamkeit" and the "Hell" section of Heart of Darkness: The Rock Opera. He also wrote the unreleased "You're An S.M.F. (Latin and metal versions)" and "Check My Blood Pressure," and pioneered the Sculpted Static signature count-off, "1-2-345!"

Arta has also been in touch with trumpet player Josh Aguiar, a "true jazz soloist," whose services might come in handy for the soundtrack and other Tonics songs.

Magazine previews

Here are two screens from the upcoming Tonics website.

"So, who is Lucy?"

----Lucy is a 3.18 million year old female hominid, of the genus Australopithecus, whose skeleton was discovered on November 24, 1974 by Donald Johanson, Yves Coppens and Tim White in the Afar Depression of Ethiopia.

"What did she trick you into?"----The human condition.

Junk mail

Aristatic (our e-mail account) is the target of many direct marketing campaigns. Neon Phosphor has lately taken up the hobby of replying to such e-mails, especially ones that claim to have stumbled upon our great music, and "will you please upload it to the site I am promoting?"

Today, I got an e-mail from an A&R person from the Independent Artists Company, who claimed in his form letter that he was "a fan" of our music and that "I thought of you recently when we were trying to figure out which good acts haven't been invited yet. No, this is not random spam, I swear." Great, so I shot back an e-mail asking if he would explain how he heard about The Tonics and which songs he liked. Even if he hadn't actually heard us, I figure he'd be forced to do it now, if he wanted our business badly enough. [Later, Toby actually replied to my e-mail, saying that he'd heard about us from "a friend who listens a lot at download.com" and that their favorite songs are "Elegy For Anne Bancroft" and "Lucy." Fair enough. We'll put something on IAC.]

Other recent unsolicited mail have included:

• A "hot new British chill-out band" called Mooli
• An invitation to join BandSpace
• Frank from Hot Live Bands who's putting together a compilation CD and would like to talk to us about the possibility of having one of our tracks featured on it. Ironic, since we are anything but a hot live band at the moment.
• Ted Beam from South Pasadena who "listened to 'Lucy' online and really liked it" and wanted to get the members of Sculpted Static (our old band) to attend his show at the Bent clothing store on Mission Street.
• Again addressed to Sculpted Static, an invitation to join Artisterie, who are "real fans" of our work.
• Toonopoly, a logo/sticker/site designer with "competitive prices and great ideas that will blow your mind."
• Vince Griffin inviting us to use the full-service Sound Vision recording studio in the South Bay area

If you want to contact us, please e-mail aristatic@yahoo.com. You will get a reply.

"Which indie label would you sign up with?"

----We are already signed to the United States Postal Service. We pay them 83 cents, and they deliver the CD to one of our valued customers.

"You know, a lot of successful bands actually..."----Who says we aren't a successful band already? We have lots of great material, and more on the way. We have an EP and a half, just sitting there waiting to be snatched up. And don't forget, we have Sunny Ash, a decent full-length album from our other band. We are currently not losing money to a label. How are we not a success already? Tell me.

"Okay, but a lot of other successful bands actually play live."----A good performance can mask bad or inconsequential songwriting. Think about the last five garage bands you've seen. How many melodic hooks can you remember? How many songs fell outside of the pop/punk/garage rock genre? We don't play often, but when we do, people instantly remember something like "Lu-u-cy..."

"Would you say your music echoes The Olivia Tremor Control and other members of the Elephant 6 collective?"

----Who the fuck are you talking about? Have you been reading Pitchfork again? Go listen to The Beatles. Early Beatles.

"I heard rumors that one of the Tonics suffers from multiple personality disorder."----Even if that were true, when has mental illness necessarily been an impediment to great art and other contributions to society?

"Brian Wilson."----What? He made Pet Sounds. Try doing that when you're sane.

"Do you have an album?"

----Yes. In fact, we have about a few hundred in our collections. Maybe more. I don't know. They're making iPods with bigger and bigger capacities these days.

"How often do you play?"----Can you be more specific? Play on words? Play on the swing set? Play a cassette? What?

"I mean playing music together, as a band."----Yeah, once in a while, we go out for a drive around the Cube, blasting the neighborhood with loud classic rock.

"Do you write your own songs?"----Yeah, they write to me. Neon Phosphor is the only song that bothers to respond.

Non-precious Belle & Sebastian moments

Over the last nine years, Belle & Sebastian's records have become a sort of mainstay of hipsters' music collections. Soon to be replaced by The Tonics, of course. The following are B&S songs that actually rock:

"Le Pastie De La Bourgeoisie" - with a fast 2/4 rhythm and surf-rock guitars, this electrifying rocker is off the 3..6..9 Seconds of Light EP.

"Stay Loose" - from Dear Catastrophe Waitress. An 70s-80s-style pop song over 6 minutes long, with synthesizer swells and harmonized guitar solos! That Pitchfork gave the album a mediocre review should be reason enough to give it a listen.

"Stop, Look And Listen" - from the I'm A Cuckoo EP. After a few minutes of some very repetitive verses, a great surf-rock instrumental kicks in out of nowhere. This instrumental was actually used as a concert opener.

"Judy Is A Dick Slap" - from the Legal Man EP, a synth-driven instrumental.

"Electric Renaissance" - from Tigermilk. Almost completely synthesized, and lots of delay on Stuart Murdoch's voice. Tigermilk, on a whole, rocks more than all their other albums.

Greatest moments in rock and roll, part 11

Vocal harmony dissection of the day: The Beach Boys - Don't Worry Baby

The chorus:

Harm1+2        Don't worry baby                       Don't worry baby
Bass    Now don't                    now don't you wor         ry baby 
Lead    She  says               don't worry baby              everything

Harm1+2                Don't worry baby               Don't worry baby Ooh
Bass    Now don't                    now don't you wor         ry baby Ooh
Lead    will turn out all right      don't worry baby                  Ooh

The stereo separation is: Harm1+2 (right), Bass (right), Lead (left). The coolest thing about this harmony is the bass line and how it joins the other two harmonies at the end of each line.

"Don't Worry Baby" was recorded on February 20, 1964, with lead vocals by Brian Wilson. Brian was 21 at the time, so at 22 we are already falling behind.

For years hearing it on oldies radio, I never realized it was a car song. Take a closer look at these great lyrics:

I guess I should've kept my mouth shut
When I started to brag about my car
But I can't back down now because
I pushed the other guys too far

The best part is when Brian sings about the danger of driving a race car. Life and death stuff, man:

She told me "Baby, when you race today
Just take along my love with you
And if you knew how much I loved you
Baby nothing could go wrong with you"

The odd lyrical moment comes when he suddenly has sex on his mind: "Oh what she does to me/ When she makes love to me." But it works, doesn't it? This song is a classic.

"How would you describe the current pop music scene?"

----Imagine a swarm of airships hovering over the entire Los Angeles basin, with gigantic amps and speakers attached to their sides. Then think of the loudest, power-chord driven song blasting out of each of those speakers. Under the shadow of this massive flotilla of dirigibles, the ground starts shaking and the windows are breaking from the shock waves.

"Do you like Avril Lavigne?"----And then the air force scrambles a group of ten F-16s towards this mind-fucking spectacle. The squadron leader gets a missile lock on the closest airship, but, before he could fire, his pathetic jet fighter is blown to pieces by the sheer might of the distorted guitar solo and heavy-ass bass.

"Do you see yourself as a boy band for the 'hip'?"----The incredible sound of maximum R&B even opens up the San Andreas Fault. A fucking magnitude 10.0 earthquake rattles the City of fucking Angels. The earth moans, but it is powerless against the almighty collective power of the airborne amps, with the volume set to 12, baby.

"Are you trying to be famous or something?"

----"Do or do not... there is no try," in the words of Yoda.

"What's the most difficult part of being a Tonic?"

----People mix you up with gin, vodka and god knows what else.

"Will you ever sing in a foreign language?"----As Arta revealed in an earlier exclusive interview, we were going to have Sanskrit on "Lucy," but it didn't happen. For a quick and easy way to hear our music in a foreign language, move to a non-English-speaking country and/or change your mother tongue.

"Will you be selling band merchandise?"

----In lieu of buying Tonics merchandise, we request your money be spent on worthier causes like the revolution.

"What?"----Well, you know, we all want to change the world.

"What do you think of the Live 8 concerts?"----I don't know. If we had played "Distance," I'm not sure "When you're rich and young, shouldn't you be having fun?" is the right message to send to the masses clamoring for social change. And the line "I just can't seem to get things done" ("The Clapping Song") seems just a little pessimistic when viewed in context with the push to get the G8 nations to help the third world. And, certainly, we wouldn't want to play "Hamlet." That song would cause activists to slash their wrists instead of marching against the WTO.

"I heard a rumor that a talking parrot will be used in one of the songs."

----That is untrue. It's actually a singing budgerigar.

"Tell me, did you have any trouble getting the bird to sing?"----It's a fucking budgerigar. Call it what it is. Yes, we needed to pitch-shift it a little, and it kept going out of sync with the backing track.

"What color is this--budgerigar?"----Why does it matter? It don't matter if you're black or white. Or, in this case, blue, green or yellow. They all chirp the same.

"So, which song does it sing on?"----You know I'm just making shit up here, right? Can we just put this to rest?

Omega point theory

According to Arta, those are three words "that may change your life," should we choose to explore its depths. Neon Phosphor is reminded of an upcoming song called "Alpha-Alpha" (formerly known as "Alpha and Omega"). In "an exclusive interview with Mark Williams" from February 21, Mark says that he is the alpha and the omega, and also the kai that binds them together. That statement was previously said by Jesus Christ in Revelation 22:13: "I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End," although there's not much difference between Jesus and Mark, what, with that goatee and longish hair (as pictured above).

The future of popgothetonics.com?

Taking full advantage of our stock photo gallery and lessons learned from the New York publishing elite, the next incarnation of the Tonics web site will destroy the world.

"What? Aren't you a rock band? Why do you waste your time on the web site?"----I am Neon Phosphor. I do the web site.

"Isn't that Neon Phosphor on the cover?"----No, she's the stock photo representation of Lucy. She also appears on the back of the latest EP.

"How do you expect to fill 50 pages of your Tonics magazine?"----The same way you fill a sewer. Shit your way through it.

"Penny Lane" is in my ears...

Arta: "Dude, 'Penny Lane' is the most perverted song ever. Look up 'fish and finger pie.' It's gross. I can never listen to that song again."

Other Beatles songs that Arta can never listen to again include "Don't Let Me Down" (because the bass or guitar amps cause Ringo's drums to rattle, especially at the beginning) and "I Want You (She's So Heavy)" (because you can clearly hear John and George flicking their pickup switch at various places in the song). This excellent site lists more ways to ruin your Beatles listening experience.

Nothing to report today

Neon Phosphor takes a break.

Stuff your newsreader with The Tonics

On the sidebar, you'll find a link to the site feed. Imagine "An exclusive interview with The Tonics" right next to actual celebrity gossip. Yep, it could happen. Subscribe yourself today.

Our favorite poem

Ingrid Swanberg is an American poet and the editor-in-chief of ABRAXAS magazine. Here is a link to eight poems, an electronic chapbook in the Light & Dust Anthology of Poetry. What makes her so special? Well, please scroll down to her poem "the night you were born."

First day live on Blogger

"Why the switch to Blogger? What's wrong with MySpace? Now I have to update my bookmarks again!"----Say you want to find that incredibly witty thing I said sometime in January 2005. You can find that post very easily under the "Archives" section on the right-hand column. Try to do that with MySpace. I bet it loads faster, too, for those of you with a 56k connection.

Moving to Blogger soon

I am moving this blog to Google's Blogger service. It's slightly better, and without product placement. More in the coming days...

Spotlight on Neil Diamond

While our friends at Pitchfork listen to the latest Sub Pop record with a few hundred copies in circulation, we pay tribute to one of the best selling singer/songwriters of all time: Neil Diamond, who has sold more than 120 million records worldwide.

He started his career writing hit songs for The Monkees, like "I'm a Believer." Other songs that are still playing on oldies radio include: "Cracklin' Rosie," "Solitary Man," "Sweet Caroline," and "Cherry Cherry."

On "Cracklin Rosie," he manages to stay on the same chord (D) for four whole measures of the verse, before repeating the feat with the G chord.

The Tonics sort of do that on the chorus of "The Clapping Song," but, in general, they are currently not as good as Neil Diamond.

More work on "Save the Day"

Steven removed an extra bar in the first verse, added a bass slide, and did some other miscellaneous fixes to the instrumental.

"What does Mark say at the end of 'Distance?'"

----"I buried Ian." Look in the lyrics artwork for more clues.

"There are rumors that The Tonics are switching over to jazz, and considering the addition of a jazz trumpet player. I even heard reports that Arta recorded a trumpet solo on his cell phone, for inclusion on the new album."----Those rumors are untrue and probably started by someone who's had a bit too much to drink.

Play the Tonics' slider puzzle

...by clicking on the graphic on the front page.

Hint: solve the top two rows first before working on the bottom two.

In other news, Steven programmed the drums for "Save the Day" and mixed a new version of "Lucy Tricked Me Into Something."

Sculpted Static flashback of the day

The Tonics have a lot of great songs that are out of print or never released. Today, we focus on "No Logo," an example of good shit that became a victim of The Tonics' own laziness.

Blog exclusive! An excerpt from "No Logo"

"No Logo" is based on Naomi Klein's book of the same name. It features lyrics like:

The field where you stand, you're making a stand--for corporate
And run with the wind, you're making a swoosh--to whore for it

"No Logo" promised to be the flagship title of summer '04. It got through the whole recording process--Ian even drummed on it. Several listeners called it an "anthem," due to the global message and the catchy, three-word mantra of a chorus.

So, what went wrong?

First, Steven and Arta didn't really think about the arrangement. The result was a really loud, really noisy song with guitars all over the place. Steven even played rhythm guitar for some reason, despite the fact that Arta could do it better. Add in some keyboard parts and harmonies, and you have a production that sounds like shit.

For a while, Elisa Morimoto (who sang on "Follow The") was slated to re-sing the lead vocal in order to avoid the awkward octave switch at the beginning of the chorus, necessary to accommodate Steven's voice. But that was cancelled when Steven and arta decided to have Elisa sing on "Pixies," another unreleased song that's practically finished.

The rest of the summer, the band tried to think of ways to arrange the song. But with a history of poor arrangements, they weren't likely to pull anything out of the bag for this one. And they didn't.

The fall came and went. When Sculpted Static reconvened in December 2004, they disbanded, and the remnants formed The Tonics. This new band preferred to deal with songs about depression, existentialism and self-deprecation, so "No Logo" (a song about branding and capitalism) suddenly had no place among the rest.

"Is rock dead?"

----Everyday in every way The Tonics are getting closer to their new album.

"Explain the new front page."

----We all like to change our wallpapers once in a while. It's part of being human. Even our ancestor, the caveman, often scrubbed off his cave painting and replaced it with something else.

"Is that a reference to your old song 'Neanderthal?'"----No! Why does everything have to be something else?

On a random note, did you know that Anne Bancroft is sampled in the familiar remix of Los Del Rio's "Macarena?" She is heard saying "I'm not trying to seduce you" from The Graduate.

"Telegraph Avenue"

...is the most played song at Tonics/Sculpted Static concerts. Here's the evolution of the song:

Dec. 2001 - Arta records a demo called "shmalifornia." Steven turns it into "Telegraph Avenue."
Jan. 2002 - Sculpted Static play "Telegraph Avenue" at their first concert, with Alex on backing vocals and Steven on fake drums.
Spring 2002 - They record the song.
May 2002 - "Telegraph Avenue" gets played on KALX Berkeley.
July 2002 - "Telegraph Avenue" is played in Nicole's backyard. Mark is on backing vocals, Steven plays fake bass, and Ian drums for the first time.
Fall 2002 - Steven records less British vocals. The song is rereleased.
Jan. 2003 - The song is played in Steven's garage. No backing vocals, Steven is on real bass.
July 2003 - No Future Cafe concert. Tristan sings backing vocals. Steven plays bass.
April 2005 - Berkeley concert. Mark sings backing vocals. Steven plays a keyboard solo. Other musicians are recruited from Project X. G plays bass. "Telegraph Avenue" becomes the most played Sculpted Static/Tonics song, breaking the tie with "Star Ferry" and "Agoraphobia."

"Who is Neon Phosphor?"

----I am Neon Phosphor.

"How many kids have you tricked lately?"

----478

"Who is Lucy?"

----Lucy Pevensie is one of the major characters from C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia. According to Lewis' timeline, she was born in 1932. She is the youngest of the four Pevensie children, and the first to find the Wardrobe entrance to Narnia in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Her siblings Peter Pevensie, Susan Pevensie, and Edmund Pevensie do not believe her at first, but later they all find their way to Narnia. She again travels to Narnia with her three siblings in Prince Caspian, and with Edmund and Cousin Eustace in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Lucy tends to be the first one to see Aslan when he appears. She symbolises the Christian expression of the natural virtues of humankind, whether manifested as "childhood innocence" or in its more mature forms as depicted in the later stories.

"You cut and pasted that, didn't you?"----Oh, fuck you.

Washington, DC, interview

"Here I am surrounded by Tonics and I don't feel a thing. Fellas, how does it feel to be in the United States?"----I think you've had a drink too many. And Ian is actually in China.

"What have you seen that you like best about our country?"----Our government issued passports allow a quick and painless way to get out.

"Now, do you have any plans or any arrangements to meet the Bush girls [the President's daughters]?"----Where did that question come from?

"They may come.... Are they coming to your show tonight?"----What show? What are you talking about? And why would they want to see us performing music that talks shit about their father?

"You and the snow came to Washington at the same time today. Which do you think will have the greater impact?"----It's the middle of the fucking summer. What the hell are you smoking?

"Have you ever heard of Walter Cronkite?"----Yeah, he spoke out against the war and appeared on the Outfoxed documentary speaking against FOX News. But why did you have to hear that from us?

"What do you think of your reception in America, so far?"----I'm not terribly fond of it.

"What struck you the most, so far?"----What if the scaffolding falls on us during a show? Where's our universal healthcare? Are we covered?

"In spite of the snow, you still got a good crowd?"----I don't think the snow at the Sierra Nevada really affected our show at Berkeley.

"Tell me this. Why do you think you're so popular all of a sudden?"----We're not. Arta refreshes the page, like, 20 times a day.

"Where did you get the idea for the haircuts?"----We're poor and we can't afford it. And we're too lazy to cut it ourselves.

"You save on haircutting, at least?"----Each haircut amounts to ten packs of Ramen, probably.

"Well, where do you go from here?"----The words are coming out all weird, where are you now?

"Are you still number one in Europe?"----It's not one country, man. Funny, that's also how John Lennon answered that one.

"Where are you number one then?"----In the hearts of our countrymen, or something like that.

"You call your records 'funny records'?"----No, we don't. They're totally serious.

"But, what I'm saying is-- Do you think of your records as funny records?"----Why, do you?

"Do you feel they're musical?"----Huh? Why the hell not? They have chords and melodies and rhythm.

"OK. Have a good time in America."----You lie.

"Agoraphobia" press conference

"Mildred Spencer from the Gazette. Mark drops the f-bomb on 'Agoraphobia.' Are you concerned that family-friendly places like Wal-Mart might not carry your album?"----Fuck families. The cruelest thing is to let a child into this world so cruel. That's from an upcoming song, by the way.

"But isn't it wrong to be alone?"----What, and the walls here are made of holes? It's reporters like you who give me agoraphobia.

"Hi, this is May June from the New York Times. Can you elaborate on this upcoming song that you just mentioned?"----No, you're obviously just trying to make conversation. And what kind of name is that? Next question.

"This is Julie Casana from the Tribune. Agoraphobia is a mental health condition..."----No shit.

"...are you trying to raise awareness for agoraphobia among the record-buying public?"----No, we stopped trying a long time ago. As Thom Yorke once said: in songwriting, if you try, you're fucked.

"Tom Englebert from the Daily Herald. I was wondering if any of you are actually agoraphobia sufferers."----This press conference is over. I'm getting out of here.

Mass e-mail sent today

Hello from The Tonics, the band consisting of Arta, Ian, Mark and Steven!

We are happy to announce the release of our new mini-EP entitled "Minds of Broken Plastic." It includes two new recordings "Elegy For Anne Bancroft" and "Agoraphobia." You can download them for free at http://www.popgothetonics.com/music.html

"Elegy" is a tribute to the Oscar-winning actress Anne Bancroft, who died on June 6. She is best known for her role as Mrs. Robinson in *The Graduate*.

"Agoraphobia" is a new recording of an old song that's been around since 2001. It first appeared on our album *Sound Check* as a waltz, but it is now in 4/4 time.

Our publicist Neon Phosphor has been keeping a daily journal since late-December! Read entertaining Q&A's, music recommendations, and keep track of our creative process here: http://blog.myspace.com/neonphosphor

Hope you're having a great summer! Rock the box,

The Tonics
http://www.popgothetonics.com/

Ask Neon

"I heard that Arta and Mark are meeting in davis next weekend to finish some more tracks"----Yeah, right. They're probably just going to finish off a few bottles of Carlo-rossi... you know, like "now they're just spilled bottles."

"Yo, Neon. What's the next number in this sequence: 14, 18, 23, 28, 34, 42, 50, 59, 66, 72, 79, 86, 96, 103, 110?"----The answer appears at the bottom of this blog.

"Who should know better than me what I should do?"----Not baby.

"Who is Lucy?"----How many times do I have to answer this question??? Lucy is the Quake III Arena bot, the big-ass biker chick who ducks a lot. Are you happy now?

Answer to the brain teaser: get a life, you sick fuck.

Ghost World

ENID
Do you have any old Indian records?

SEYMOUR
Indian records?

ENID
You know, like weird 1960's Indian rock n' roll music.

SEYMOUR
I don't have anything after about 1935. I may have one Hindu 78 from
the twenties in my collection, but it's not really for sale. I don't
really collect "foreign."

Enid wanted something like the opening credits of the amazing film Ghost World. The song was Mohammed Rafi's "Jaan Pehechaan Ho" and the music video came from Gumnaam (1965).

"Jaan Pehechaan Ho" itself is an amazing song with a horn section and a lead guitar like Eddie Cochran.

Here is a fan page that has a lot of other "weird 1960's Indian rock n' roll music" that enid was looking for.

The Ghost World DVD contains the complete music video of "Jaan Pehechaan Ho."

Neon Phosphor takes a break

Nothing happened today.

Impossible to see the future is

"So what happens if Steven stays in New York?"----Same thing that's been happening for the last four years. You have to coordinate everyone's schedules. We are also very good at faking a live performance on tape, so we can have Steven record a backing track with guide vocals in 2005, Arta and Mark's guitars in 2006, Ian can drum in 2007 (if his drumming hasn't already been artificially created), and more detail/bass work in 2008. Keep in mind that we've managed to create an EP and many other songs and promote the band through two concerts, despite the fact that all four of us haven't been in the same room since December 2003. And that was filming the "Distance" video. You'd have to go back to July 2003 for the last time we played music together, which I believe was at the No Future concert. Still, we have done more than many bands, so we are not concerned.

"Why are you putting your personal careers ahead of the band? Don't bands usually have to at least play live in order to move up in the world?"----As we proved in Berkeley, The Tonics will not hesitate to get local musicians to cover the missing instrumental parts. Hell, we could probably license this franchise to musicians all over the country, maybe even play multiple cities at once. That's what they mean by "covering" your band. They're covering for you in your absence. Of course, we hope it doesn't come down to that... we expect telecommunication technology to improve so that we can have a holographic image of whoever's performing, like on the Jedi council.

The Graceful Accident

I just got word that Alan Lawrence will be using Sculpted Static's "Salvo Social" in his upcoming film The Graceful Accident, which has been in development for years. Alan, as you may remember, did music videos for the Sunny Ash versions of "Apart" and "Distance."

A few years ago, we donated a bunch of instrumental scraps (and even a couple of real songs) for Alan's cinematic endeavors. Exclusively for readers of this blog, here are some examples of that stuff.

Minds of Broken Plastic EP released

I'm not sure it can even be called EP, which I think stands for "extended play." Our EP is actually 5 minutes long. I guess it's about the right length for a 45 single. Head over to the music department to download.

A mass e-mail will go out as soon as we're sure there are no problems with the website, the mix, etc.

An exclusive interview with Steven Chow

SC: yeah, what do you want?

NP: HOW DO YOU LIKE NEW YORK?

SC: if by new york you mean the view of campus from my 6th floor dorm room, and the 5 blocks down broadway i walked to the nearest rite-aid... the answer to your question is: living my kind of life is not the way to like new york.

it's not my fault. i have summer school all day and night.

NP: HAVE YOU BEEN TO CBGB? HAVE YOU SEEN THE STROKES YET?

SC: like i said, i'm in a fucking lecture hall 7 to 8 hours a day, with two meal breaks. i'm learning how to publish things. so that one day i can publish the tonics anthology. or the blogs of neon phosphor. you know, like the journals of kurt cobain? he shot himself, by the way.

NP: HOW ABOUT THE STATUE OF LIBERTY? OR WHAT'S LEFT OF THE WORLD TRADE CENTER?

SC: okay, so imagine having to wake up at 8 in the morning to go to a continental breakfast. see, i'd have to imagine that, because i've decided to sleep through that one for the rest of my time here. then you have a 3 hour lecture. followed my lunch. another 3 hour lecture, maybe throw in an activity here and there, dinner, and yet another 2 to 3 hour lecture, before you're dead tired and want to go to sleep. they don't call it publishing boot camp for nothing. what was your question, again?

NP: HOW'S ANNE BANCROFT AND AGORAPHOBIA?

SC: bancroft's dead. as for agoraphobia, you just gotta deal with it. i'm boycotting our group breakfast, but with lunch, you simply have to eat lunch with them, otherwise you'll starve. and that's not cool. i missed dinner today because i had to go to rite-aid to pick up some bottled water. sometimes, a few drinks such as vodka and TONIC can cure agoraphobia. or make it worse. it depends on the person and their mood.

NP: SO, ARE YOU GOING TO WORK IN NEW YORK?

SC: a-ha! i brought my dynamic mic. i can actually work on the album in new york. i even found a piano in one of the buildings i have access to. it's not a good piano, the G key doesn't work, and the sustain pedal doesn't work. still, i can work around it. it's reasonably in tune. relatively speaking.

the worst piano i have ever played is at the salvation army store in pasadena. 1/3 of the keys are completely broken.

NP: SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AT THE END OF THE SUMMER COURSE?

SC: die. eventually.

"Anne Bancroft"-"Agoraphobia" release imminent

I can't give you a date, but soon.

More mixing

Steven did some mixing work at the Las Vegas airport. "A big, open space inside the terminal. It's got great acoustics, and slot machines to liven things up."

Last recording session for at least 6 weeks

Arta recorded a new guitar part for "Agoraphobia." Steven recorded the piano part. Arta added a guitar solo to the end of "Lucy Tricked Me Into Something."

"Anne Bancroft" will be released without Ian's drum part, which he did two years ago without knowing. Arta: "This is not 'Fake Plastic Trees.' It shouldn't turn into a rock anthem."

Steven is going to New York tomorrow, so all the recordings will come to grinding halt for the next six weeks. Mixing work will continue as usual. "I will have my laptop and I hope I can get my internet connection set up quickly."

We wish Steven a safe journey, and we hope that he will develop a deep hatred of "the Big Apple" so that he may return to the west coast to help the Tonics project continue.

More work

Steven finished "Anne Bancroft" with more vocal tracks and a bass-keyboard track. Here's Steven to explain what happened next: "I really wanted drumming on certain parts of this song, but Ian is currently in China. But here at The Tonics, we have our own patented method of dealing with this situation, by going back in time and telling Ian, circa 2003, to drum on this song. He has since done so splendidly. Good job, Ian."

After this bizarre chain of events, he produced a mixdown of "Anne Bancroft" and a newly-restored "Agoraphobia."

Phantom power

Arta and Steven recorded a new acoustic guitar, piano, and tambourine track for "Anne Bancroft", using the new condenser mic powered by 48 volts of phantom.

"What is phantom power?"----Surely the biggest scam to hit the recording industry since "Magic" Alex poured millions into a non-functioning studio for The Beatles. As far as we can tell, the phantom power box (and the extra mic cable), costing over half the price of the mic itself, has no function except to ensure that we got ripped off to the fullest extent possible, and has a green light to certify our ripped-offness. Should a box that delivers a little bit of power to a mic, a box that is probably nothing more than a modified AC adaptor, really cost $40?

Thanks to all the people who actually paid for the CD they ordered. We hope you feel good in your hearts that your $8 maximum went towards phantom power.

In other news, Steven says: "I don't like my lead vocals on 'Anne Bancroft.' This new mic is only making it easier to hear the problems in my performance."

List of songs for the new Tonics album, part 2

This is a continuation of the list started yesterday. Blog exclusive! for audio clips, download montage2.mp3 and montage3.mp3.

Songs finished (extra work still possible):

"Distance"----Indie oldies pop song. What's hot: Beach Boys harmonies. What's left: still some room left for pitch-shifting, especially in the ooh-ed last part.

"Sad"----Ancient Sculpted Static track resurrected for the album. What's hot: 3/4 keyboard against 4/4 guitar. What's left: nothing.

"Lucy"----Opener of Sunny Ash, our old Sculpted Static album. What's hot: solid, reliable song, good melody. What's left: the vocals sounded better on the original.

"Lucy Tricked Me Into Something"----An experiment in modular songwriting. What's hot: in conversation with the other song "Lucy." What's left: could use more guitar at the end.

"Thank You"----Penultimate track of Sunny Ash. What's hot: bass and guitar. What's left: more vocals, perhaps.

Songs being recorded:

"Save The Day"----80s dance pop song. Instrumental pretty much done. What's hot: harmonizing guitars, synth part. What's left: needs a new electronic drum track, mark's lead vocals.

"Apart"----Like the one on Sunny Ash. What's hot: fan favorite from Sunny Ash. What's left: overdone production will probably need to be cleaned up. Arta vetoed his guitar solo, but we may still record it because of the lack of other ideas.

"Agoraphobia"----First appeared on Sound Check. This one's in 4/4. What's hot: withstood the test of time. What's left: not much, really. It may be good to go already.

"You're Only Human (Do You Know What You're Doing?)----War-themed song not originally planned for the Tonics album, but it would be a shame to waste that excellent instrumental track. What's hot: Arta's lead guitar. What's left: could still end up on the album with new lyrics.

"Greenback (Blank Page)"----New Mark song with a cool guitar riff. What's hot: lead guitar on last verse. What's left: more instrumental tracks to fill in the verse, harmony vocals, additional percussion.

"Elegy for Anne Bancroft"----Simon and Garfunkel-esque song. What's hot: Anne Bancroft. What's left: vocal tracks.

"The Clapping Song"----Happy, bouncy Mark song. What's hot: amazing performance at 155 Dwinelle. What's left: needs a new lead vocal, more percussion.

Songs that we have started recording, but will probably need to be re-recorded:

"Portrait (London Bridge)"----Originally released back when we were Sculpted Static. What's hot: one of the more emotional pieces on the album. Issues: arrangement is boring at the moment. Steven wants it to sound more like Coldplay. Would probably require full band rehearsal.

"Crowds Of Nervous People"----A slow, piano song by Steven. What's hot: excellent melody, tempo change. Issues: like "Portrait," needs a better arrangement. The recordings from the winter sessions are too boring, not always in tune, and not done with the metronome.

"Hamlet----Written by Steven, sung by Mark. One of Arta's favorites. What's hot: depressing lyrics. Issues: current recording not really in tune. Does not sound enough like The Smiths. Ian's drumming sometimes off.

Songs vetoed:

"Tonight"----Unloved song most likely to get the axe. What's hot: lyrics fit the theme of the album, has a great bridge. Issues: current recording overproduced. It may be converted to different time signature. But we're not sure if the real problem comes from Steven's songwriting.

"Opium"----The original version (on Omer's Odyssey) is still the best. Sculpted Static made a mess of it during summer 2004. It was dropped in favor of "Lucy Tricked Me Into Something" at the last minute before scheduled recording started.

So that's, what, 20 songs towards the album plus 2 vetoed ones. From that, we want to trim it down further to 15 songs or 45 minutes, whichever comes first.

List of songs for the new Tonics album, part 1

Over the next few days, I will provide a rundown of all the songs in consideration. Today, I focus on the songs that we have not yet started recording.

Exclusive to readers of this blog!! A montage of demo clips to listen to, as you read the summaries below. Download here.

"Mean Song"----Late contribution to the album effort, written by Mark after winter recording sessions. What's hot: amazing chorus. Issues: Mark took out the lyrical/melodic hook of the song in a recent revision. Arta and Steven would like him to undo the changes.

"Sunday Night"----Solid song. What's hot: excellent lyrics. Remarkably catchy and flows well. Issues: written so recently that only Mark has ever played it.

"Alpha/Alpha (Alpha And Omega)"----in constant development since a year ago. What's hot: killer verse melody, harmonizing guitars. Issues: the song's taken forever to write. Will it lose its freshness? Chorus-to-verse switch not quite worked out.

"Therefore Play Music (The Spanish Song)"----By Steven, the version on Omer's Odyssey is the only one currently in circulation. What's hot: popularity at Stebbins Hall, melodically tied to end of "Tonight." Issues: Arta hates the E to F chord progression and violin part ("sounds too Spanish"). An acceptable version already exists, reducing motivation to record it again.

"Amaj7"----Slow piano song along the lines of "Crowds Of Nervous People." What's hot: great lyrics, one of the songs partially written at the "Davis summit" by Steven and Mark. Issues: unconventional song structure. Steven's piano songs are notoriously difficult to arrange ("Opium," "Radio," "Shoes," "Hamlet," "Crowds Of Nervous People").

The album is delayed again

The new mic's not going to arrive until Wednesday. Steven's leaving on Saturday. This gives us about 3 days to do something before rock dies indefinitely. we may still finish a song or two, but the complete album is not coming out this summer.

Amaj7 demo

Steven recorded the Amaj7 demo. "I think it'll sound better with the full band." Translation: "It'll be years before anyone else hears it."

"According to the hit counter, there have been 207 accesses to this blog, including 27 today."----The only hit counter we pay attention to is the Billboard Top 40 singles chart, which we will get on in due course.

Amaj7

Not just a great chord, but a new song. Steven wrote lyrics and added extra melodies to a song fragment originally written by Steven and Mark.

"Why are you so mean to your fans?"----What the fuck are you talking about? Neon Phosphor updates everyday. Uncut and uncensored. Normally you'd have to wait for the special edition DVD to come out.

Sculpted Static flashback of the day

Star Ferry, known affectionately to the band as "Star Fucker," was the first song Steven ever wrote. It had all the elements of a real song: an introduction, verse 1, verse 2, chorus, bridge with a time signature switch, instrumental break, verse 3, chorus, and an outro. Few other Sculpted Static/Tonics songs could boast that kind of completeness.

Mark added a busy, but melodic, lead guitar part. Arta played the guitar solo and flanged rhythm guitar. All of this, combined with the keyboard and a synthesized "jazz" drum part, created a dreamy musical texture different from anything they had done before. Apparently a success with the band and their listeners, "Star Ferry" was played at every Sculpted Static concert.

Steven: "When I wrote 'Star Ferry,' I had very little clue how to write a song. It just kind of happened. I didn't really think about it at all. In fact, of all the songs I ever wrote, this one probably makes the most musical sense, too. A very satisfying melody. Lyrically, a sort of an interesting take on a love song. It really went downhill from here.

"They say the music you write reflects your mental state. Maybe 'Star Ferry' was the last song I wrote before I went insane. I guess it was. I was happy at the time."

Our favorite keyboardist, of course, went on to pen depressing shit like "Hamlet" and mean-spirited jibes like "Therefore Play Music" and "Lucy Tricked Me Into Something." God knows what happened to him after the bright and sunny days of early-2001, when everything seemed possible.

"To the neon god they made"

"I read on Pitchfork that"----Fuck you. Go shove your pretentious indie rock collection up your ass.

"But I was going to say"----No. Go to hell, where you can enjoy being impaled by Satan's pitchfork for all eternity.

"Aren't you also"----No, we're pop go the tonics. Read the sign... pop-go-the-tonics. We're not indie. We're pop. We have better melodies.

"But you played The Strokes once"----See, but they actually went mainstream. And that's where we're going to be, someday.

In other news, Steven ordered a condenser mic from Musician's Friend. We will be recording some high-quality vocal tracks, at last.

"Anne Bancroft" recording: Day 2

Steven wrote the lyrics, melody and recorded a demo take for the Anne Bancroft song. When finished, it'll sound like 1967.

Late in her life, Bancroft complained that she will mainly be remembered for her role as Mrs. Robinson, despite a lengthy career of television, film and stage work. One of her more outstanding roles (and one she is much prouder of) is her portrayal of Helen Keller's teacher in The Miracle Worker.

"Neon Phosphor" recording

Today, Arta and Steven started recording an acoustic version of "Neon Phosphor," an old Sculpted Static song that I am named after. When completed, it will have a new melody and lyrics about actress Anne Bancroft, who died yesterday. May she rest in peace.

An exclusive interview with Steven Chow

NP: I AM NEON PHOSPHOR

SC: ha! i am neon phosphor, too!

NP: NO YOU'RE NOT. I AM NEON PHOSPHOR

SC: i know that, and so am i.

NP: NO YOU'RE NOT. I AM NEON PHOSPHOR. NEON PHOSPHOR TYPES IN ALL CAPS. NEON PHOSPHOR'S COMMENTS ARE PRECEDED BY "NP:"

SC: you got me there

NP: SO, WHAT'S IN THE PIPELINE?

SC: music. that's what we do.

"What's going on? Why isn't anything happening?"

----You can blame Elliott Smith's friends and family for demoralizing us by releasing From a Basement on the Hill, which can't be topped.

"Is rock dead?"----Yes, Elliott Smith stabbed it in the heart.

"Seriously, explain the situation."----We have a lot of songs completely written, but they still need to be arranged. Mark's not in South Pas, which is a problem, because we don't even have the basic tracks to "Alpha/Alpha," "Sunday Night" and maybe something else I'm forgetting. Steven and Arta may record a song in the next two weeks. If so, it will be a completely new song that has yet to be written.

The problem with taking a long break during the recording is that months later you think your stuff is shite and you want to quit working on it.

"So how do you convince yourself to work on old stuff?"----Turn on KROQ. Chances are, they're playing shit a lot worse than ours. That helps take some of the pressure off.

A warm up

Arta and Steven practiced at Garfield Park. Nothing tangible was really accomplished. Steven learned how to play an aug chord.

The stunning lack of output

...continues. It's as though rock is dead. "The devil will find work for idle hands to do."

Nothing to report

"Then why do you update this blog?"----Because Neon Phosphor updates everyday.